Mrs. Independent: Part Two

Chapter Nine: Halloween

Chapter Nine: Halloween

We loaded up the kids and I changed into black jeans, a white knit sweater, tan boots, and an army green jacket. Josh put on jeans and a green sweater with a brown leather jacket and brown boots.
Emma is wearing a white dress and a halo and I put some makeup on her so she could be an angel. Matthew got an all black outfit that covers him head to toe. You can't even see his eyes. He's supposed to be a demon and his costume makes me nervous because when it gets dark I'm not going to be able to find him. Caiden is being McDonald's fries, and Bryson is being shaggy from scooby doo.
I'm slightly disappointed because Josh and I usually have some awesome costume every year that turns heads, but this year we don't.
The car is dead silent during the drive to my brothers house.
A few more minutes pass before we reach my brothers house. Josh pulls into the driveway behind my Dad's car and I mentally prepare myself for the stares because everybody things Josh and I are getting divorced.
The kids file out of the car and Josh and I follow closely behind.
When we enter, all sets of eyes land on us and I'm immediately uncomfortable.
They look curious and sad seeing we aren't dressed up. Claire elbows her husband Justin and whispers something and he frowns at us.
"You guys can stop staring. We're not getting divorced." Josh says as he shuts the door behind me.
"You're not?" Liam asks with wide eyes.
"No, we're not. The kids thought they heard something, but we are not getting divorced." He husband replies.
"Then why aren't you two dressed up?" Caroline asks.
Josh shrugs and I look down at the floor.
Maybe I'm paranoid but something feels wrong.
What if we do end up getting divorced?

______

The kids are running up to houses with their little cousins and all of us adults are standing out in the street. It's like thirty nine degrees outside. My sweater has holes in it and all I have under it is a beige tank top, and my green jacket is about as thin as a sheet.
I wrap my arms around myself, hating myself for my outfit choice.
The kids come running back to us with their pillowcases and we walk with them to the next house. I feel disappointed in my myself because I'm not happy.
I'm always excited and taking pictures on holidays, but this year I'm hardly speaking.
With the kids at the next house, Claire bumps her elbow into my arm gently.
"What's up with you?" She asks.
"Nothing." I say calmly.
"Are you sure? You're being quiet and you seem upset."
"Yup. I'm good."
"You want to know what I think?" She asks.
I shrug.
"I think you and Josh really are getting divorced, but he told us you aren't because he isn't ready to talk about it yet."
"Josh and I aren't getting divorced." I sigh.
"Then why do you look upset? And why aren't you two matching?" She asks. She's speaking quietly so our relatives can't hear us.
"I don't know."
"So you're just not matching for no reason?" She asks.
"Pretty much."
"Okay, but that doesn't answer why you're upset."
"I'm fine Claire, please just drop it." I shiver slightly.
"You look miserable, Katherine."
"Yeah, well." I shrug.
"If it makes you feel any better, Josh looks just as miserable."
I look over at my husband who is standing alone with his hands in his pockets, toeing a rock on the ground with his shoe. Our family is looking between the two of us wearily.
Why is he upset?
We've only been walking for like, ten minutes. It's around six thirty and we don't call it quits with the kids until around nine.
I don't think I can take three hours of this.
I step around my curious sister and walk over to my husband, stopping in front of him.
He lifts his eyes off the ground to look at me.
"What's wrong?" I ask quietly. He just shrugs.
I hesitate, nodding, mostly to my myself, and then I look towards our family.
"Can you guys watch the kids? I left my phone in the car and I need to go get it."
"Yeah, we'll watch them." Dad says.
"Thanks." I say, and then turn to Josh. "Come with me?"
He nods, and I head back in the other direction. He walks beside me and I start twisting my wedding rings anxiously around my finger because he has both hands in his pockets and he isn't trying to hold my hand.
The walk is dead silent all the way back to my brother's house. Josh unlocked the Escalade and I get in the car and shut the door.
He looks a little confused and gets in the driver's seat. I take the key and start the engine, turning on the heat, sighing when I feel the warmth envelope my icy hands.
"What's wrong?" I ask him.
"Nothing." He says.
I just look at him and raise my eyebrows.
"I don't know." He rests his hands on the wheel. "I'm sad."
"Why are you sad?"
"Because." He glances at me, and when he sees my raised eyebrows, he continues. "Because we didn't hug this morning. And because we aren't matching, and because you're upset about something and I think it has to do with us. And you didn't even hold my hand on the walk to the car. You always take my hands out of my pocket, but you didn't today."
He's upset for all of the reasons that I'm upset, but I have a feeling there is something he isn't telling me.
"And?" I ask.
"And what?" He mumbles.
"And what else?"
He drums his fingers on the steering wheel.
"We made a pact." He says. "And now you're saying you can't promise it, and that's like, against the code of conduct for our relationship."
"I know, I'm sorry."
He seems upset that I don't have anything else to say.
"I don't want to promise you something that I can't keep."
"Why can't you keep it? Before Friday, you've never walked out on me-"
"But I have a history of walking out on everyone else-"
"But not me." He argues gently. "And I would really appreciate it if you didn't suddenly start making it habit."
"I'm not making it a habit." I say softly. "I just want you to understand that I can't promise I'm not going to leave when we're fighting. Sometimes my emotions get the best of me. I would rather leave for a little while and come back when I'm ready to talk."
"So why can't you just go sit outside?" He mumbles. "Why do you have to leave the property?"
"Because it gets cold outside." I say. "I can't sit outside in January, hun. There's snow on the ground in January."
"Well then go in your study, or the basement, or somewhere in the house, and we make a rule that the other can't go in there. That way you're away from me, but you don't leave."
"But being trapped in a room like that isn't going to work." I say.
"But I don't want you to leave."
I feel like we're about to start fighting and the mere thought makes me want to cry.
"Look," I whisper. "I didn't think I was ever going to be mad enough at you to leave to calm myself down. I'm sorry for hurting you, I am, but sometimes my emotions get the best of me and I just need time before I do something rash."
"Are you serious? You don't make rash decisions, Katherine. Every single thing you do is carefully thought through."
"I didn't used to be that way. When I found out Alex was cheating on me I pushed our van into the river."
"You were on drugs when you did that." He says.
I groan and rest my head against the dashboard.
"Bottom line, I'm not going to promise you that I'm not going to leave to calm myself down again. Promising you something that I can't guarantee to keep is wrong."
He rests his head on the steering wheel and says nothing.
And my heart just hurts because I'm tired of not feeling okay with him.
I want to be okay again.
Finally, he lifts his head up to look at me.
"Okay." He says.
"I promise you that I'm always going to come back no matter what." I whisper. "And I promise if I leave, it won't do it to hurt you. "
"Alright."
He still looks upset.
"I want to be okay again." He says. "And I know we are but it doesn't feel okay. Nothing about life feels okay right now. It's making me not want to be home."
"Me too."
"And Bryson? I mean, I'm ready for a vacation."
"So am I."
He rests his head against the headrest, turned to the side to look at me. I mirror his position, just looking at him.
"I'm sorry we didn't dress up." He whispers.
I look at the time on the dashboard of the car, and I get an idea.
"Maybe we still can."

______

We went straight back with our family and I know everyone is still worried about us, but with the kids at somebody's door for candy and us stopped in the street, I uncap the liquid black eyeliner I had in my purse and turn Josh towards a street light.
"Whoa, what are you doing?" He jerks back when I try to write on his face.
"Just trust me." I say.
"I don't want makeup." He says.
"Trust me, you big baby." I say.
He sighs, his breath puffing out in his face, and then he shuts his eyes.
I color the tip of his nose black and put three lines on each cheek like whiskers, and then I write "Ross" on his forehead.
When I finish him, I use my phone as a mirror and draw a mustache on me and a goatee.
"I don't get it." He says, eying me.
"Oh my god, are you guys-"
"Don't say it!" I exclaim to my step-mom. I hand Claire my phone.
"Take a picture of us."
I link my arm with Josh's and we both smile. She snaps the picture and hands me back my phone.
I open the photograph and show it to Josh.
"Oh my god." He starts laughing. "We're Ross and Rachel from the Vegas episode!"

_______

Things got a little lighter after that and we kept making inside jokes back and forth, and now his arm is slung around my shoulder. We head down the street some more with the kids and I sit down on the curb as all the kids run up to the next house, and a few other children from parents littered around the street.
"Katherine, did Mom text you?" Claire asks.
"For what?"
"Katherine?" Some random girl asks.
I look away from my sister to the sound of my name. "Katherine Wellington?"
Confused, I stand up.
She's a woman about my age, brown hair and matching eyes.
"Uh, well it's Elwood now, but yeah." I say, eyeing her. She looks familiar.
"My name is April!" She smiles. "You don't remember me?"
"April Harris?" I ask.
"Yes!"
I smile.
"Oh my god, I haven't seen you in like, forever!" I say.
April was my best friend when I was a kid, before I moved to Utah.
"I know, it's been like, thirty two years." She laughs. We hug briefly and then she steps back to look at me. "You look great, Kath. Really, you look like you're thirty!"
"Oh, I'm definitely not thirty, but thanks, so do you." I smile.
"Thank you." She says. What's with the mustache?"
Josh snorts.
"It's my costume." I shrug.
"Oh hey, you guys are Ross and Rachel from friends, right?" Somebody in her group asks.
"Yeah."Josh speaks up.
"Oh, April, this is my husband Josh. Josh, this is April. Her and I were like, best friends before I moved to Utah."
"It's great to meet you." Josh smiles.
"You too!" She smiles back and shakes his hand. "This is my husband Andrew. Andrew, this is Katherine and Josh."
"Hey." He shakes both of our hands. He's the one who knew we were from friends.
The kids come running back and my four kind of hesitate by Josh and I.
"Oh, she is most definitely your daughter, isn't she?" April asks, gesturing to Emma.
"Yeah." I say. "How'd you know?"
"Because she looks just like you."

______

I was off today but my boss asked me to work and I said yes. But I'm off tomorrow so yay me
Also, I made a book of all of my books listed with their sequels. @auregurl took the time to go through and sort them for me and all I did was post them to a book. I'm going to update them regularly
~Sam