Mrs. Independent: Part Two

Chapter Thirteen: Red Candle

Okay guys, I know I have some explaining to do.

My life has been a freaking roller coaster. I got a good job but I haven't had a day off (with school included) in eight weeks. I'm struggling to juggle everything. On top of that, it's the middle of the semester which means three essays at once, tests, getting ready for the end of the semester.

Basically, I'm drowning a lot right now, and I'm not trying to abandon you guys.

This series though, is ending. I'm not abandoning it, I just think it's time to end it. I will do it properly, but this is the last chapter.

I will do an epilogue, but I don't know when that will be out because I work today.

Thank you all for being patient with me :)

Chapter Thirteen: Red Candle

I wasn't sure what I was doing or where I was going, but I walked until I realized where my feet were taking me.

I found myself inside of a huge church with incredible stain glass windows.

I sat through three different masses, and then I found myself sitting down with a priest and I told him everything, and I cried, and it might be weird but it was okay.

It felt okay.

And he told me that God forgives everything. He told me I need to leave the guilt of my abortion behind. He said that my family acting the way that they are has nothing to do with me.

He told me that if God didn't forgive, heaven would be empty.

And I accepted my abortion.

I accepted that I did what I thought was right at the time. I realized that I thought I was protecting the baby from Alex, I knew I thought I was too young.

And after raising four, I was most definitely too young, but I honestly think that, had I kept the baby, I could have raised him or her by myself.

I could have done it.

But I didn't, because I thought I wasn't ready. I made a very hard decision with all the information I had at the time.

So I stood in front of the stand with all of the red candles on it, and I lit one for my unborn baby.

Because I'm sorry. I'm sorry I was irresponsible and got pregnant. I'm sorry I did drugs. I'm sorry I got addicted, and I'm sorry I started selling.

I'm just sorry for my past.

I know God is taking care of my baby.

Now I stand in the church, which is empty aside from myself, and I watch the flame flicker on the wick of the red candle.

I'm not sure what time it is, or if the sun is even up anymore, but suddenly I feel lonely, and I want my husband.

Maybe they stayed in the city for dinner, I don't know, but I do know that this church is dead silent, and it's making me uneasy.

I turn towards the pew and grab my purse, searching through it for my phone. I think I'm ready to face my husband's curiosity now.

I unlock it, anxious when I see the battery is really low.

Josh has been telling me to get a new phone for ages, but mine is perfect the way it is.

Except for now, because the battery might die.

I open messages and text my husband.

Me: are you still in the city

Lovey: yes why