ʟᴇᴀʀɴɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ʟᴏᴠᴇ - ᴊᴊᴘ [✔︎]

ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ᴇʟᴇᴠᴇɴ

☆*:.｡.☯︎.｡.:*☆

Jinyoung stayed up all night reading Jaebum's book on his thoughts and feelings, he learnt a lot about Jaebum that he didn't know before; a lot of hidden feelings. Jinyoung pitied him in a way because life wasn't good for him but that didn't excuse his action towards people and especially Jinyoung. Jinyoung believes from the lack of care Jaebum received that he isn't capable of expressing love properly especially when he wasn't on his medication, it was like a whole different person. Jaebum's case can be compared to Jekyll and Hyde but it's somewhat different too. Jinyoung was determined to fix Jaebum because if he doesn't do it then who will. He has to be that person. He wants to be that person.

The next day Jinyoung prepared himself to approach Jaebum. With the book and pills in hand, he heads next door and knocks on the door. It takes a couple seconds until he sees the door open. A messy and stressed human stood in front of Jinyoung, his eyes were dead in emotion but as soon as he sees its Jinyoung, his mood turned apologetic and confused.

Before Jaebum could any thing, Jinyoung asks if he can enter the home, Jaebum couldn't refuse. They both head to the living room, nothing much has changed except things being more cleaner and organised. Jaebum sits waiting for Jinyoung to say what he has to say, with seeing the book in his hands, he knew that Jinyoung knows everything.

"I came to talk about everything Jaebum, this situation we are in isn't ideal, I want things to be better with us, I liked you a lot I thought our love could blossom but then the past 8 days happened"

Jinyoung takes a deep breath remember the pain he suffered from

"Those things are unspeakable and I can't say I forgive you, in fact you haven't even said sorry"

Jaebum's head raises to look at Jinyoung, tears form in his eyes and he looks back down to his hands

"I'm .... I'm sorry Jinyoung, anything I did to harm you was wrong of me, I can't excuse any of my actions, I was angry at myself and I blindly took it out on you"

Tears continued to falls and Jaebum's outer shell cracks, Jinyoung strokes his back in comfort

"Thank you for saying that, it sounded sincere but I can't forgive so easily, the pain..."

Jinyoung shakes the thoughts from his head

"You said you're angry at yourself, is it because of me?"

Jaebum fidgets in his seats and takes a deep breath

"I love you so much but because I don't know how to express it, I just hurt you instead. Every time I try to accomplish something I ruin it so I decided with you, if I admired you from a far then I'd never lose you but... I ruined that"

Jinyoung was taken aback by the older's confession, he knew there was some admiration but love? He never knew the feeling was that strong

"Jaebum you are capable of showing love but you just don't realise, it may not be the love you see others give but you have your own way, you love your friend Youngjae, your work and you love cooking too, these are examples."

Jaebum gives a small smirk and looks back to Jinyoung

"So because I'm in love with those things, I am able to love you too?"

Jinyoung grabbed his hands and looked into his eyes

"Yes but we need to take it one step at a time okay?"

Jaebum nods in agreement

"First by taking away the stalker aspect to your life, these cameras in my house needs to go and the cameras here. You have to burn all the pictures and videos you have of me too, we need to start afresh then we can improve on us properly"

Jaebum grins in agreement and starts to clean with Jinyoung. They throw out all the photobooks of Jinyoung and the picture frame, they disconnect all the cameras that Jaebum had up and deletes all the files

"Wait not those!"

Jinyoung shouts over to Jaebum, he didn't want the pictures from the amusement park deleted, that's one of his favourite memories

Now they were done and are resting in the living room again with the TV on a movie on in the background

Jinyoung turns to Jaebum and grabs his hands in his. Jinyoung loved the contrast of their hands; Jinyoung's is smooth and soft and Jaebum's is rough and coarse

"I want to make a deal with you Bummie"

Jaebum nods for him to continue

"if you go to counselling and take your pills consistently for a whole year, I'll be waiting here with open arms but for now we both need to heal and take time apart. The things you did to me hurt me more than you'd ever imagine but if you change for the better then I can forgive you"

Jaebum let's a tear slip past his cheek but his face seemed determined

"I won't lose you and I want to have you in my life properly, so if it's what I have to do then I'll do it"

They hug one more time, Jinyoung leaves a wet kiss on Jaebum's cheek and leaves his house, ready for a new start.

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