One for being annoying.
One for being sad all the time.
One for being insecure.
One for being boring.
One for being so vulnerable.
One for being selfish.
One for being fake.
One for being a disappointment.
And some more just for the hell of it.
Zayn didn't cut his wrists, no. He did something a little different. He bruised his tan skin. He trailed bruises up and down his arms, thighs, and calves.
When Zayn was younger, he first bruised himself because his mom had yelled at him. He used his old iphone 6 and hit his arms multiple times creating a giant bruise. Ever since then, Zayn continued, using heavier objects such as weights or hammers. Zayn began bruising when he was 14. He was now 17 and he didn't even think to stop.
He liked how it felt. Of course, creating the bruise wasn't a pleasant feeling, but when it was made, he didn't feel so weak anymore. It made him feel strong to make it through the day with bruises scattered along his arms and legs. It made him feel strong when even though the simplest touch made him wince, he made it through.
Zayn was depressed. His mom never paid any mind to him anymore. Anytime they would begin a conversation, her attention would either be drawn to his sister or brother. Never fully with him. He felt selfish, which is another reason he bruised himself. He didn't deserve her attention but he had wished he had it. Selfish.
His dad worked out of town on the weekdays. This called for him constantly taking the tan boys mum's attention. Zayn's mum was on the phone with his dad everyday all day. Zayn and his dad didn't have a great bond at all. A big part being he never saw his dad. He never had anyone to tell him how good he was at art, or if his jacket was nice. He felt insecure, another reason. Not having a dad to inspire him to keep going. Insecure.
He had two great friends, Niall and Harry. They had been closer then ever. That is until recently. Well, they still were physically close, but the raven haired boy could tell they were getting bored of him. They both had separate friend groups they would try to drag him to. They hung out with each other all the time but they didn't have as great of a bond anymore. He got boring. That's yet another reason. Harry wanted to hang out with Luke instead of him, Niall wanted to hang out with Dylan. Boring.
The lad was just overall broken. He had no one. His sister was 5 years younger so she was in her own world, along with his other six year old sister. He had no one.
So he bruised himself. He bruised himself in places he tried to hide so well. He always wore long sleeved shirts and jeans. He was always worried if someone would fine them.
But maybe his worry was actually hope.
Maybe he wanted someone to ask him how he feels.
Maybe he wanted his mom to realize he was wearing a sweater in 100 degrees weather. Or his gym coach to realize he always wore sweats while all the other guys were fine in basketball shorts.
Maybe he really did want someone to find out.
Just maybe.
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hey hi hello
i completely redid this story and i felt like the first one was better ugh.
new story tho hehe. future chapters should be longer :)
sorry for any errors in capitalization, punctuation, grammar, or spelling 💗
message me ! any votes, comments, or messages are greatly appreciated ❤️
all the love, m xx
word count : 621 yikes
YOU ARE READING
bruised ~ ziam
Random"roll up your sleeves Zayn" tw • self harm • abuse • anorexia • depression • suicide attempts • more to come {i restarted this story because my tops sounded like bottoms oop} started : october 29, 2018 finished : june 19, 2020
