bruised ~ ziam

Three ❤️

"Goddamit Zayn why are you such a damn idiot" The poor boy whispered to himself as the hammer reached his skin. Tears were pouring out of his eyes as he tried to stay as quiet as possible. His family was in the living room watching 'Spider-man Homecoming' and having a great time. Of course, he wasn't invited. Ever since earlier that night, after his FaceTime call of course, he had been bruising.

"One for being an idiot" He slammed the hammer on his arm.

"One for not listening" *slam*

"One for acting dumb"

"One for being embarrassing"

"One for screwing everything up all the time". The thing is, when Zayn bruises himself, he can't hold back if he tries. All the anger bottled up inside him, now was a time to let go. So he let him be his punching bag. Selfish, but this was one thing he didn't mind. A little bit later, red splotches covered his arms and higher thigh areas. He threw the hammer and cried into his hands, just disappointed in everything. He put on the only sweatshirt he really owned, besides his zip up one he wears at gym, and some ugly brown sweats.

He cradled himself, falling to his side before falling asleep. Yes it was only 7, and he hadn't finished his homework, or ate since lunch, but he didn't care about anything right now. The only thing he made sure to do was set his alarm, so he could be out of the house before his mother awoke.

-

"He's so dramatic. Ugh." Perrie Edwards, Zayn's female friend groaned. Perrie and Zayn were close. If the raven haired boy wasn't openly gay, they would definitely be mistaken for dating. Zayn's a good looking guy, Perrie's gorgeous, they would probably be a power couple.

Zayn doesn't really go unliked per say, people just don't really talk to him. Not that it's a bad thing. He respects it.

"Ri Ri i told you a million times to just break up with him" The small boy rolled his eyes and slammed his locker. He wasn't in the mood today. A couple seconds later, the two friends heard a message indication coming from Perrie's back pocket. "Don't" Zayn warned, pleaded. The blonde's eyes lit up before she quickly typed something. "Perrie".

"He told me to meet him at the fountain oh my see ya Zayn love ya" She planted a wet kiss on the boys' cheek in which he wiped off quickly. He just sighed as Harry walked up to him, in front of their shared locker.

"Wish I could get that much action. You don't even like girls ! So not fair." He sighed. Zayn shrugged and hitched his backpack up before walking to meet Niall.

"So." Harry began conversing. "Niall". He didn't want to trigger the boy, but he wanted the fake blonde to know he was there for him. Zayn day quiet, letting his friends work things out. Josh slowly rubbed circles in his boyfriends back as he explained.

"I don't eat Harry. Don't be awkward now. I mean it's kind of reasonable as to why, look at me." Niall stayed casually, grabbing some of the extra skin on his stomach. Niall was far from fat. Everyone knew that. Except Niall. Sure, he was still a bit chunkier than his friends, but far from fat. Zayn was only four  pounds less than him actually, and Zayn was extremely skinny.

Harry sighed before stating what many people have told him before. "You aren't fat Niall and I don't get why you think so. Josh and I here weigh more than you. Should we be starving ourselves ? No. Are we fat ? No. And neither are you Niall. And even if you were, which you aren't, there are many other ways to fix it. Niall please.". And his voice held no emotion. He knows Niall has heard this many times, so if he tries to be mushy about it, his friend is less likely to listen.

"I know. I'm trying. It's hard."

-

Harry's Pov (a/n pov yay)//

I got home and sling my backpack by the door before storming off to my room. I'm not bothered to face Robin today, or my mum. Not because I cant, I just don't want too.

"Where the fuck are you fag ?" Robin or my 'stepdad' called from downstairs. I just rolled my eyes at the old man and locked my door, grabbing my game controller. I rested on my yellow bean bag and turned on my large television. I heard my door knob jingle, so I immediately shot up, heading towards my window. I got it open and was about to jump when the man grabbed the back of my shirt.

"You just aren't going to listen to me then ?" He scowled into my ear.

"D-dad I was just a-about to g-go" I stuttered, honestly frightened. This had been going on for the last month, although i'd never tell anyone. It was one night where I had come home late from hanging out with Zayn. Oh no, coming home late wasn't the problem at all. It was Zayn. My dad- well Robin- used to love Zayn like a son. Him and my mum knew that Trish and Zayn did not have a good relationship, and Yaser was never there, so my parents wanted to give him the life they say he deserved.

September 12. I remember the Thursday night clearly. Zayn and I were hanging out late as usual, nothing unordinary. So we both came back to my place, knowing my parents wouldn't mind, and Trish probably wanted him gone.

So that night, that Thursday night, we went up to my room in a laughing mess. We were both so happy to be in each other's presence that night, so excited. More than usual.

You see, the thing is, I don't really understand sexuality. We've always known Zayn was gay, but I was always told I was better than Zayn, being straight. So that's what I lived up to.

But I cant help but sometimes have this feeling for my best friend, like, he's stupid hot, he wears his heart out on his sleeve, his laugh lights up the room. I've began developing a crush on him. Of course, I would never tell anyone though. Because i'm better than that. Because i'm straight.

That night, I remember staring into his chocolate eyes as we sat across from each other on my bed. We were changed, both had grey sweats and no shirt on. No shirt. That was the moment I ruined everything. I let my emotions and heart take over, rather than my head. I kissed my best friend, and in the heat of the moment, my dad walked in.

"I didn't raise a fag like him"

And those words are what ruined me. Zayn didn't mind the kiss, and I love him for that. But my dad hates Zayn now, seeing as he 'influenced me'. My mum never talks to me anymore, wanting nothing to do with me. Then again I am very grateful I still have a bed to sleep on. And i'm very grateful to still have Zayn in my life. Through thick and thin.

-

sad chapter eh ? sry for the slow update :,)

what are your opinions on harry's life ? I hated writing this chapter and I hope none of you have this problem or got offended reading this.

You know, I guess this chapter was showing the bad in all my boys' lives :,(. Well I mean besides Lilo, but they aren't really in the story yet.

sorry for any errors in capitalization, punctuation, grammar, or spelling 💗

message me ! any votes or comments are greatly appreciated ❤️

all the love, m xx

edited

word count : 1302