Sad.
We're all sad sometimes.
Some of us have people around to cheer them up.
Some don't. They lay alone in bed, maybe crying, listening to music that supports this kind of feeling and they think about why they're here.
Why am I here?
Is there a reason for my existence? What have I done wrong?
Am I antisocial? Is it bad if I don't wanna go outside, because I don't want to see any humans?
Do my friends really need me?
Am I replaceable?
Am I a bad person, am I doing bad things to other people without realizing it?
Do I help others or do I make it worse?
The things I'm doing, do they really end up being relevant? Is there a reason for all this bullshit?
And although they know very well that they can't answer these questions, they still ask them.
So now we're here, laying around and thinking, wrecking our heads.
But why?
You could just go out, catch up with some friends and have fun.
Laugh with them. Laughing helps.
You could be happy with them. Meeting friends helps blocking the sadness for a quite while.
But you don't want to see anything that could cheer you up.
You know exactly, what you could do to get rid of this feeling, but you refuse to try it.
Because you think you have to live this sadness right now. You're telling yourself, that you need this right now.
Because you are addicted to that certain kind or random waves of sadness. Aren't you?
There's another reason why we feel like we have to live this sadness right now. Catharsis. The phenomenon of purging your soul of a feeling by excessively feeling it. It works best by rotting away in bed with ice cream and sad music while the tears roll down to your ears and you stare at the ceiling.
And after that session of misery, maybe you can go out and feel better.
Atleast the ancient Greeks said so.
The line that I featured in the title from Gotye's Somebody that I used to know made me come up with the idea of this chapter.
While writing I thought of Beyoncé's line "You see these tears falling down to my ears" from I Care and it reminded me of a recent weekend where I spent a whole night silently crying while listening to Sad Eyes by Mary Saxton.
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