My Love but Not My Mate

Chapter 22

‘...’ – speech in wolf form

“...” – speech in human form

Chapter 22

   I was now safely back in the company of my pack. After what had just occurred the night before, I didn’t feel like straying too far from the main group. From what Tyson had said to me, I suddenly felt very vulnerable and considering the condition I was in, I was starting to think that maybe this baby wasn’t the best thing to happen to me.

   Blake was sitting on a log not too far away with Jasper, who was in his rare human form; Blake was explaining all the reasons for his pack’s strange behaviour of spending half their time in human form and why it could be used for more than the original reasons that our ancestors had developed the trick for.

   Smiling to myself, I decided to make my way over and sit beside them and listen in (I knew they wouldn’t mind).

   “It still doesn’t feel right, it seems unnatural to spend all that time this way,” Jasper complained.

   “Not to us. We are so used to it that it’s not a bother, but as pups you learn the ways of your pack and yours is a lot different to mine. If we get our two packs together I’m not even sure it will work out,” Blake admitted, much to my dismay but I remained quiet. “I mean, our packs are so similar in some ways but entirely different in others so there’s a fifty-fifty chance that we can all live together.” Picking my head up, I looked solemnly into Blake’s eyes as he looked down at me. “That doesn’t mean I don’t want it to work. Can you imagine forty or so wolves all living together in close quarters? It sounds like a nightmare to me, but we will have twice the territory to roam around in that it might not even matter all that much,” he added with a small smile.

   Looking at Jasper, I could tell he was thinking on something but there was no way I could even begin to guess what it might be. Pining a little, I showed him that I was a little concerned.

   “Hmm?” He looked back at me and could tell straight away that I wanted to know. “Oh. It’s just that maybe, and this is just a thought. Maybe you two should just be together for a few months, without a pack and when you’re ready you can bring us all together. I mean by then you’ll probably have your baby and then we will all want to get on as it will belong to both packs. There’s no way either pack will let you keep it for half the year out of their sight while the other brings it up in their ways.” As young as Jasper was, he did have a strange way of thinking and I could only imagine that he got that from me (I was never a normal wolf in my pack’s eyes but I had always tried to fit in the way I should). At least he and Blake were now being civil with each other, even if it was only for my sake.

   I started to realise that I wanted to speak to them properly, but that would only happen if either I changed or if they changed and I couldn’t think of the best way to show them that I wanted to talk, but I had to try. Thinking how I could do it, I sat up and hopped so my front paws were now on the leg between the two of them. Both looked at me both amused and bemused at the same time but nonetheless tried to calculate what I was trying to do. Pushing down through my hind thighs, I launched myself up onto the log and jumped down the other side.

   Pacing myself at a light jog, I made my way round the edge of camp while paying attention to Blake and Jasper as they followed up close behind in the form I wanted them to be in.

   Pausing to catch my breath, I waited for them to join me. ‘I just wanted to say that you two still keep on surprising me. Make your minds up about what you want to happen or what your opinions are and maybe things will start making sense.’ I knew I was snapping but I was trying so hard not to lose control of myself and keep from shouting and growling, but Blake could tell I was close.