Alpha Stone

33 Every ending is a new beginning

I'm not entirely sure what's going on, but if this is what dead feels like, well, it's an awful lot like living which is reassuring, I guess. Right?

I'm expecting some sort of white light, but really who knows what is after death? I mean, I've never really thought about it until now, but I didn't think I'd get a consciousness either. Or is this my soul?


I can't help but think, is this it? Am I to stay awake in this conscious state alone forever? Is this limbo? Not quite alive but not dead. I'm so confused now.


That is, until I hear a faint echo.


Is that .. is that... my babies?


I get to be with my babies in heaven? Or purgatory?


Well, that's nice.


More than I expected really. 


And then I felt it, I wasn't entirely sure what this feeling was but I felt as if I was being tethered to something. Or someone? I wouldn't have ever thought I was floating before but now, having this link to whoever and whatever I felt this connection with.


Could it be Theo? My connection to him?


If so, am I really dead?


The pull is stronger now and as much as I don't understand it, it's as if I'm flying, hurtling across time and space until I just stop. All of a sudden, tethered. My heart hammering away, I could feel that now, physically feel that. Ever given any thought for the organ that beats away, unnoticed?


Just doing it's thing.


I could feel each thud, resonating in my entire being, I wasn't quite sure what was happening but now I felt whole, felt myself as a part of a physical being. I could hear my babies playing, muttering about whatever imaginary play game they're into right now.


I find myself suddenly aware of everything around me, coming more and more into consciousness. The steady beep of a machine, the extra warmth clasped around my hand, the crispness of the air, the sterile smell in the air, the sound of squeaky toy wheels rubbing against the floor, the -my eyes flicker open, I'm gasping for breath, clutching at the hand that grasps mine, looking around frantically, wondering where the hell I am. 

My eyes fall onto the figure sitting beside my bed, now awake too, staring at me just as I stare at him, his expression, pure disbelief.



"Alex," he whispers, just as the door bursts open, more people spilling into the room. I turn to look at them, the slightest movement of my head, when I feel it. The loss of that connection that I had with reality. My eyes roll back as I flop back onto the bed, a doll.



When I woke up again, I was in the same room, alone. Slowly, as fast as my body would allow me, I sat up curling myself into the bed. My body protests as I do this, various aches and pains making themselves known. I hug myself and the tears come as my memories return.



Being captured, the.. the... rape, the beatings, the escape. Then, as I am doing this, warm, strong arms are lifting me, cradling me. I didn't even hear him when he came in, I slowly allow myself to relax into him, focusing on his scent, his arms corded around me, a shield and the sweet nothings he's whispering to me.



We stay like this for ages, neither in the silence that gradually falls on us, nothing but the ticking of the clock, our steady thudding heartbeats and our thoughts. I know I need to move, to shower, to eat, to check on my children, to talk to Theo but right now, at this very moment in time I can't do any of those things except bask in the comfort my mate is providing me. 


It is only when I felt a single droplet did I look up at Theo, a tear track on his cheek. I turn to face him, this headstrong, powerhouse of a man bought to tears, over me.


"Theo," I cup his face in my hands, wiping his tears away, my voice coming out as noting but a croak.


He doesn't reply straight away, his eyes changing colour as he battles his wolf, in the end, he allows the wolf to win, obsidian eyes staring back at me.


"My queen," he lowers his eyes as if too ashamed to look into mine. Our foreheads touching, "We failed you."


I lean into his touch and take a steadying breath before replying, "Look at me," he doesn't budge, "please look at me," I ask again and slowly he lifts his eyes to mine, "you could never fail me, ever" he protested but I silence him with a fingers to his lips, "you saved me, you found us. Please don't ever say you failed, because I'm sitting right in front of you, in the arms of the love of my life, with my children close by. This is not a failure, this is a victory." Tears fall of my own as he pulls me into a kiss. Slow and sweet, I knew everything he was feeling, everything that he had left unsaid all his doubts and anxieties, of course we would talk more about it later as painful as that would be. But for now, this was enough.


This was exactly what we needed.


We break apart breathless, nose to nose.


It's in that position that we're found in by one of the pack members, "Alpha, It's time fo-" She backs up our the door a little, nervous under the Theo's glare. "I do apologise ... I wasn't aware ... Alpha, Luna please join us for dinner." She retreats without waiting for a reply, as Theo looks at me silently questioning me if I want to go.



I don't need to answer, my stomach grumbles and does that for me, which earns a chuckle from Theo as he carries me to the dining room. I ate sandwiched between my two babies and am so very, very grateful that Jace is unscathed. The chatter of our host pack is drowned out as the boys fight to tell me about their adventures here, all the friends they've made the things they've seen.