HOMELESS ✓

27

shauna's diary entry #27

today was a very special day for both me and hoseok.

it was a day I didn't expect to happen so soon but I guess he really has changed me for the better.

it's taken me so long to accept that change is a healthy thing.

I washed the dishes hoseok had left in the morning- not wanting him to do it when I knew he'd be tired from a day of hard work. it's evident that he works hard and it inspires me everyday when I see him come back with tired eyes and a smile that says- I'm still happy.

he came home earlier than usual, the door opening caught me by surprise as I turned my head slightly from where I was seated in the chair on the balcony, with a view that was high but a view that showed the sunset perfectly. hues of orange and pink painted across the sky as the sun himself took a break and came home- happy to see me which made my heart race.

what made the day even better was the fact that it was snowing. a type of weather no one gets to see often. the snow fell slowly- touching every surface with such gentleness as it looked beautiful under the golden sunshine setting.

"you washed the dishes?" hoseok was surprised, eyes wide as he placed his backpack onto the wooden floorboards. "shit. you didn't have to- thank you." and he joined me on the balcony.

it was extremely cold- anyone would be stupid to go out in the weather that could freeze humans as well as make cars stop working. hoseok began to shiver, his teeth chattered as he questioned why I was sat outside in such extreme weather conditions.

I shrugged. "I like the snow."

and his reply made me realise once again just how much we contrast with each other. opposites attract right? "I like the sunshine." he closed the glass door- standing closer to the edge as he took in the admirable view.

and I found myself nodding because hoseok reminded me of the sunshine. he radiates warmth, happiness and makes others grow- he's someone the world needs.

and it felt weird admitting to myself that I needed him too.

I gulped and looked away from how his cheekbones glowed under the sunshine, how his eyes fixated upon the beams of the sun through the clouds- bringing out the colour in his eyes. "I went out for a walk." I informed him- never knowing what to expect from our talks.

I continued to talk as he stayed stood- his hands in his pockets as we looked straight at the changing view. "I saw a huge billboard ... you were on it." and I think he could tell that I was surprised by seeing his famous image.

hoseok seemed surprised when he turned to look at me with wide eyes and raised brows. he stumbled into the seat beside me- his attention no longer on the nature and weather.

I raised my brows- praising him. "worlds biggest boy band .. how did I not know?" I said in an amused tone as he looked away.

I had never seen him so shy. flushed cheeks and a small smile as he looked down quietly.

"love yourself answer." I breathed out and i remembered the research I had done on his music with his friends- his brothers. "the messages, the inspiration, the music- voices, raps .. everything is felt in such a magical way."

"loving yourself is something everyone at one point struggles with. it's not  something you achieve in just one day, week or month. it's a process that takes a lifetime. so you telling people and society that it's okay to not be fine ... I now have a lot more respect for you."