HOMELESS ✓

31

shauna's diary entry #31

it feels weird .. a bit far fetched to say that I've settled with life.

finally.

what feels even more weird is me admitting that I deserve to have a life where I'm delighted.

I still live with hoseok. I'm saving up for an apartment of my own but at the moment .. I enjoy living with the man who's always here for me.

just like the moon, the sun and the stars.

our daily routine revolves around each other. we live together, go to work together- he goes to band practice and I go to dance practice, eat together and we do everything together unintentionally. even movie nights or grocery shopping where I have to stop him from buying everything he craves like candy and chocolate.

joining his entertainment company was something I never expected to do. but doing it truly was one of the best decisions of my life. being able to dance and earn money at the same time is an honour.

I try my best to show hoseok how thankful I am for him. I try to return the favour by washing the filthy dishes, sharing the money I'm now earning with him, making us dinner, waking him up when he falls asleep on the couch uncomfortably so he can sleep in his bedroom, letting him lean his head on my shoulder when we watch a movie together, cleaning the apartment from head to toe on relaxing Sundays and once I saw him wanting to buy a massive key ring (I don't know why the hell he wanted it) so I surprised him by buying it for him the next day.

I want to see my parents again and tell them just how great I'm doing without them! I don't need them to be content with life. I'm finally living a life I want and deserve.

and I felt proudness, excitement and joy when walking back to mine and hoseok's apartment this afternoon. the sun was out which made my eyes squint but the chill of the weather didn't bother me.

but the powerful, unfamiliar feeling faded away into bleakness and shock when realising he was not in our apartment.

he was nowhere to be seen.