Love or hate

To confused to know the truth

I got home in a hurry ran to my room and shut my door. Closed my window shut and pulled the blinds. Afraid that if I had a way to escape I would go running to him and kiss him and...be in his arms for the whole night. I was lusting for him but couldn't let him know. I knew In my head that he didn't really love me but another part of me didn't want to believe that. I wanted to know that he absolutely adored me. that he absolutely loves me for who I am, that every time he looks at me all he can think is "DANM." I want him to want and need me....the way I feel about him Isn't how he feels. But the way my heart feels about him would make me do anything for just one second with him in my arms. even if he doesn't completely feel for me. But that's not the case because I won't let myself crave him like that. I plopped down on my bed. Breathing in deep loud breaths slowly. trying to forget and move on. But the only way to move on is to fall in love with someone else. I sat up on my bed and rested my chin on my knees and thought about it.