infinite

Part 3

I open up the text from Peter and respond; 

me- "yeah" Less than a minute later and he responds, 

pete :)- "i just wanted to talk to you about why i have been acting the way i have been lately" 

me- "you have my undivided attention" A few minutes later and I get this whole paragraph from Peter. 

pete :)- "i know that i should have talked to you about this so long ago, i just didn't really know how to. you are one of my best friends, have been since day one really. i left you, both physically and mentally... and started going off and doing what i do, for that i am so sorry. jai, i know you've been worried about me, wondering where i always escape to and who i keep telling secrets to. just know that i am alright, i have always been alright. i am the way i am just because of me, not you, you have never done anything to hurt me or cause me to distance myself from you. even though ned is my best friend now, you have always been my best friend, i can talk to you about anything even if you are mad at me, and you are always there for me. anyways, i'm sorry this is so long overdue, and i hope that you can forgive me and try to understand."

 I read over his message a few times. All this time I didn't expect him to give me a real apology. I moved on from what happened by this time anyway. I didn't expect him to even say anything about what happened... I am so confused right now. 

me- "peter, i have always understood you, there are just some grey areas now. i was upset at you, i was upset for a long time because you just left and kept leaving without any sort of explanation. there were times when i needed to talk to you, wanted to talk to you about certain things, but i knew i couldn't because you were never around anymore. through all of that, i still thought of you as my best friend, i always look out for you, even now, i am not mad at you, i just want to know that you're not getting yourself into trouble for no good reason."

pete :)- "what do you mean you look out for me now? and i told you that i am alright, i'm not getting myself into any kind of trouble." 

me- "peter, the whole damn school calls you penis parker, and the leader of that whole mess is flash, every time i even hear him say those words i get so angry. i'm not just gonna let him or anyone else bully you, haven't you noticed he doesn't do that if i'm around you?" 

pete :)- "well i never really thought about it till now... you don't have to do that ya know." 

me- "yeah you're right, i don't have to do that, i don't HAVE to do anything. i do it because i care about you dumbass." 

pete :)- "you're my best friend..."

I smile and text back; "...until the very end." 

Peter and I have been best friends almost ever since we first met. We were both in the same first-grade class, Mrs.Sanders class. The first day of school Peter spilled his whole lunch tray on me in the cafeteria, I was furious, to say the least. For the next three months, I swore that Peter was my enemy so I did everything to avoid interacting with him, I was one pissed off 6-year-old. 

One day, we had to do an art project in class because it was November, and we Americans love a good turkey day. Anyway, the whole class got dressed up as Indians and pioneers to put on a show for the whole school and our parents. The name of the song was "You are My Best friend" My class got on stage and I thought I was going to be fine, I was so excited to sing and show everyone my talent, but once I saw all those faces looking at me I got nervous and I busted my ass walking up the platform stairs. 

Everyone was laughing at me, I was mortified. Peter, little 7-year-old Peter dressed in his pioneer outfit came down from his place on the stage and fell down next to me in the most dramatic way. To add even more effect he took off his hat and threw it into the crowd. He helped me up, wiped my tears with his shirt sleeve, and repeatedly told me it was okay that I fell down, then, we both got back on stage. My mother has a photo of us both dawning toothless smiles. 

Ever since then Peter and I did everything together, we went to the park and we went to the movies, we used to have sleepovers when we were younger. We used to write these stupid skits and act them out for our parents, my parents love Peter and his aunt May loves me. I taught Peter how to play the piano and in turn, he taught me how to ice skate and play hockey. We saw each other every holiday, we matched Halloween costumes and were each other's Valentine "dates". 

My favorite thing that we did together was when we were both about 12, we decided to go explore the world. We were rebellious and had watched one too many teen coming of age movies. It was summer, and we had a lot of time on our hands. We grabbed our bikes and put some water, snacks and other stuff in bookbags and started riding, we had no real destination. We found a trail off the side of a road eventually, so we followed it for a while on our bikes but we had to walk eventually. We walked for maybe ten minutes till we reached a clearing with a small creek and these big rocks were surrounding it. It was the perfect place to pitch a tent if you wanted to. Almost every day in the summer we went back to that place, and when school started back up it became every other weekend. 

The last day of summer break our Freshman year, we went there again, when we got there we thought it would be great if we left something there that marks that place as ours. We left a small tin box there and we both threw in things, I threw in a picture of him and I the first time we went on a trip to Madison Square Garden. I was wearing this hideous pink and green striped shirt, white shorts that came down to my knees, and the whole outfit really got tied together with my wonderful choice of light-up Sketchers. Peter was wearing a red Polo shirt, green camouflage shorts, and shoes that had some cartoon character on them. We were both seven years old in that photo, and quite the fashionistas if I do say so myself. 

He threw in a broken piano key, which he broke off specifically for that reason. He put something else in there but I don't know what, it was in some type of packaging. He closed the box, and we buried it under this huge oak tree. No one besides Peter and I know about that place, it is our own secret. 

Of course, the trips there became fewer and fewer, the last time we went there was when we were 15 and it was actually pretty cold, it was around this same time of year. That day was the day before he left. We had a fight about us, I started it technically. I called him out about how he always left me places, and how we never did things anymore like we used to. The ending of our trips there was I guess because we grew up? Even if that isn't the case, Peter and I grew apart. I remember the day I realized that my best friend really wasn't my best friend anymore... that was a rather somber day. 

All I really want is my best friend back. Mj is great, I love her, but she is not Peter. I know that things can never be how they were but, things move forward, never backward so maybe we can do the same. 

I get another text from Peter, 

pete :)- "tomorrow, do you want to go into the city with me?"

I  think for a moment, 

me- "yeah, that sounds fun"

I hope we can become closer again.