Spencer Hastings one shots

dear diary,

02-06-17

Dear diary,
I feel fine...(ish) i haven't cut in two days so that's a good start.
Mom got mad again, why can't i just love whoever i wanna love.
Why do i have to be perfect in her eyes. she knows i'll never be what she wants me to be.
But hey i'm fine..

12-08-17

Dear diary,
Gosh i haven't written you in a long long time.
I stopped cutting... i'm in a relationship.
i stopped listening to my mom and started listening to myself.
the blade is calling for me though, screaming for me to come and use him.
Sometimes i give in but the person that i'm in a relationship with helps me i love h..

22-01-18

Dear diary,
I'm laying in bed blood from cutting myself still on my arms.
But i'm fine.
The person that i had a relation with last time i wrote you... well we broke up.
Goddamn told me that i forced that person to be with me because i'm so depressed and shit.
That person said it loved me and i asked that person everday if it really wanted this.
I asked every fucking day and it told me it was in love with me.
But not a week later it said it was all a lie.
I'm broken
Broken things can get fixed but are never fully the same.
I just feel worthless
I'am worthless...

26-10-18

I texted my ex from what i talked about a few months ago.
i miss that person so much.
I'am in a relationship with someone else but cannot deny the feelings of missing that person.
It was my everything and i didnt only lose my lover but also my bestfriend.

I started writing this a few hours earlier and o my god it reacted.
It wants to meet but my mom blocked it from my phone and threatend me.
why can't life give me anything that makes me happy.
I dont deserve to be happy
I'm really gonna do it i need to be gone
Goodbye dear diary, forever...

Spencer closes the diary and looks at the girls to see them dead silent
"That was some heavy shit" aria comments
"I've got the shakes"
emily nods agreeing with hanna.
"Let's put this away and forget about it"
"Where did you even find that diary spence?" Alison asks
"on my trip to rotterdam, i wanna know  what happend to that girl"
"Me too to be honest but we'll never know she probably died" hanna says.
"Yeah, probably..."

So you guys this is my comeback...
I've been busy lately like a lot
This is my last year of highschool so... pretty fucking important also just personal shit was going on BUT i'm posting so enjoy ;) and tell me what you'd like to read next