*mentions sexual assault
-
michael smiled as he turned his attention away from the movie to the blond boy who was crawling over to him on the big couch, eventually sitting on his lap.
"baby..." michael whispered, his hands on luke's hips.
"hi, mikey." luke giggled, his hands on the older boy's cheeks.
"you know, you look beautiful, but i was trying to watch a movie," michael said with a small smile, making luke playfully roll his eyes.
"i'm sure i'll make it up to you." he whispered before pressing his lips to michael's neck.
"i'll be the judge of that." michael whispered, leaning back against the couch.
michael ran his hands down to luke's bum, squeezing it in his hands. he felt luke tense up, so he moved his hands back up to luke's lower back.
"hey, is everything okay?"
"what? yeah." luke whispered, moving michael's hands back down.
luke continued to kiss michael, and the older boy relaxed again, letting luke do as he pleased.
their lips moved together passionately as michael slowly laid luke down against the couch. luke's hands ran through michael's hair as the older boy's lips traveled down his neck.
luke gasped when he felt michael's hand between his thighs, but he just took a deep breath and forced himself to relax.
he wanted to do this.
he refused to take his eyes off of michael. he wanted to make sure it really was him the whole time. he wanted to know it was somebody who actually loved him, but looking at the top of michael's head didn't reassure him enough.
luke could feel his breath getting shorter, and his eyes began to nervously wander around the room as michael just kept touching him.
"get off!" luke screamed, tears in his eyes, and fear running through his body.
michael backed off of luke, and stood up, his hands in the air as luke sat up quickly.
"what did i do? i thought you were okay with it- luke, i'm sorry, what happened?" michael asked, and luke cowered down until his head was pressed against his knees. he pulled at his hair and sobbed uncontrollably as michael stood there confused.
"hey, baby, please talk to me." michael whispered, stepping closer to luke.
"don't touch me." luke said quickly, and michael did as he was told, keeping his distance.
"i won't. can i just know what's happening? did i do something, luke?" michael whispered, and luke shook his head.
"no- no, you're fine. just- i'm sorry. come here. i'm okay." luke said, and sat up, pulling michael
closer by his jacket. he buried his face in the older boy's neck, and started kissing it roughly.
"absolutely not, luke. i need you to tell me what's going on, okay?" michael whispered.
"no.." luke whimpered, and michael held on of luke's hands lightly, kneeling down in front of the younger boy who was still sitting on the couch.
"why not?"
"it's embarrassing." luke cried, and michael wiped his tears.
"that's okay, luke. i just need to know what's going on. maybe i can help you. i hate seeing you so torn up." michael whispered.
"do you promise you won't tell anybody?" luke whimpered.
"of course i won't tell."
"and do you promise you won't think different of me, or think i'm gross?" luke whispered.
"i would never."
luke kept his voice quiet, terrified that somebody would hear even though they were the only two in that apartment.
"a couple of years ago, i went on a date with a guy. it was our first date, and afterwards he took me back to his apartment because we were just gonna watch a movie. he started touching me, and i didn't want it, but i didn't want to tell him no because i really liked him. he kept going and it got to be too much so i started telling him no, and trying to push him off but he wouldn't stop. he held me down, and just did what he wanted until i was able to get up and run out." luke said quietly, his voice shaking.
"luke, that is not embarrassing. don't feel ashamed." michael whispered, wiping luke's tears away.
"i've never told anybody."
"thank you for telling me, luke. i know it has to be really hard, yeah?"
"yeah. i'm sorry for freaking out on you. i probably looked crazy." luke whispered.
"don't apologize-"
"i just thought i was ready again. like, i thought i was at a point that i could do stuff like that without completely losing it. i had those memories pushed to the back of my mind until it all started happening and it's like everything came back at once."
"luke-"
"i mean, we've been together for a year now, and i've never even given you anything because i'm just too scared. i'm sorry." luke cried, hiding his face with his hands.
"stop that. don't apologize for anything. i want you to take your time, luke. don't think about me. i'll be here to help you through it, and if you ever wanna try again, i'll take it slow with you, and i'll make sure you know how safe you are with me. if we do try again, and you're still not ready, i'll be there to comfort you just like i am now, okay?" michael said, and luke nodded.
"i love you, luke. take as much time as you need. i'll be ready when you are, and if you're never ready, than that's okay too."
"i love you, too, michael."
"and don't you dare say you haven't give me anything. you've given me your heart, and i would never ask for anything more."
