Eyes on Me (Larry/Nouis)

CHAPTER 7

Heavy chapie up ahead. Intense stuff:( Vote, comment, I looove you! - Katee

CHAPTER 7- Confession

Louis's POV

"Actually, I want to tell you something."

Deep breath Louis, you can do this. 

"What is it Lou?" Harry asks me.

"Harry, well um ah I- I mean well- I'm I-" I can't say it.

"Lou you can tell me anything." Harry says sweetly, looking right in my eyes. 

"Harry, just promise me that no matter what we will always be friends. Promise?"

"Of course I promise! Please tell me." He says

Deep breath. You can do this.

"Okay, Harry, I'm in love with you." I said it. I look down at my hands becuase I can't bare to look him in the eyes. When I finally look up I really wish I hadn't. He looks shocked, sad, and cold. "What?" He asks quietly.

"I'm in love with you Harry." I say a little louder than before.

He justs sits there. And sits there, and sits there, saying nothing. Nothing.

"Harry, please say something, anything." I plead. He just looks at me. Staring right into my soul.

"Wh-How? When?" He finally says.

You can do this. Tell him everything.

"Last week, I just, started seeing you differently. It started with a crush, I tried to deny it, I really did, but the feelings, they didn't go away. They wouldn't go away. Then, at the carnival, I realized that I'm in love with you, Harry. " I just poured my heart out. Spilled my soul onto the floor for him to see. He slouches a little and looks deep in thought. After a few minuets I get nervous. What if he hates me?

"Louis- I don't know what to say. Are you sure?" He asks.

Am I sure? Of course I'm sure! My love for him is sure and unconditional! But this must be shocking so I cut him some slack.

"Yes, Harry I'm positive. I'm in love with you." I can't seem to find the words to explain anything else so i just let my confession just hang in the air. And hang. And hang. And hang, until I'm holding my breath. He just sits there staring at his hands folded in his lap. 

"Louis-, I-I-I don't love you like that. I love you like a brother, like a best friend, but, I'm not in love with you." BAM it hits me like a ton of bricks. I never expected him to love me back, but now knowing there is no hope. Not even the slightest sliver of hope that we could be together breaks me a little. I feel a single tear slide down my cheek but I don't wipe it off.

"I'm really sorry Louis, I really am! I just, I-I'm so sorry. Please can we stay friends?"

I can't answer him. I want to say 'Yes of course we can be just friends! I'll just bury my feelings with my broken heart!' But I know I can't say that. I just stare at him. The man I love. My best friend. I nod slowly and he puts his hand tentatively on my shoulder, as if proving that we would never be as close as we were. I look from his hand to his face. He looks disappointed. Almost as if I ruined something for him. This angers me.

"Do-do you think your feelings will-will e-ever go away?" He asks suddenly.

This angers me even more. Of course he wants my feelings to disappear! Why wouldn't he? It would make his life easier. I just hoped maybe... No. He wants my feelins gone. Becuase they are nuisance. An inconvenience. He runs his hands over his face and looks at me expectantly, waiting for an answer.

"Harry, no I'm sorry. I'm sorry I ruined our friendship. I can't help how I feel and I don't know if it will ever go away. I just can't keep lying to you and everyone else about my feelings. It was tearing me apart! I just had to be honest with you. I had to, or I would... I would explode. I couldn't- I couldn't keep lying. I was distgusted with myslef. I hated myself! I hate myself for loving you!! Alright?! I hate myself. " The last few words are barely audible becuase I started crying. Harry just looks at me with, sympathy? Pity?  I don't know and I don't care. He doesn't touch me though. Or comfort me. The Harry I know would never just let me cry. 

"Louis, I dont know what I can do. May- Maybe we should spend some time apart... I don't want to be the reason you h-hate yourself. I want to help y-you. I-I'm going to leave now, I'll be back...soon. Bye Lou."

Then he left. He got up, grabbed his keys and walked out. He just left. He must be distgusted with me. He must think I'm awful. I feel awful. He hates me and I just want to die. I hear the front door close, and I want to retreat to my room but I can't move. I can't move. I just sit there sobbing. I feel the hot tears fall onto the couch. I am still sitting up, looking directly at the spot Harry sat in. I just look at that spot and cry. I feel my body shake and my legs go numb because I have been sitting on them for so long. I'm am sitting with my knees folded under me, and I keep thinking, 'you have to move' but I can't. I can't move. Like there is some force tethering me to this spot. I can't move. I want to, but I can't. So i just sit there, letting the sobs rack my body with shudders. I'm shaking and I can't see clearly, but I hear the door open and footsteps walk in the entryway. For a minuet I'm hoping it's Harry, but then I hear, 

"Louis? Harry? We're home! Liam got us all-" Zayn stops mid sentence when he sees me. He rushes over to me and shakes my shoulders slightly.

"Louis? Louis? Are you okay? What happened? Where's Harry?" He's talking, and I really want to answer him, but I can't. I still can't move. The I hear Niall.

"Louis! OH MY GOD. WHAT HAPPENED? ARE YOU OKAY?" he's shouting and I want to answer him as well, but I can't. Zayn and Niall are both pushed aside and Liam steps forward. His voice calming me.

"He didn't take it well. Lou I'm so sorry." Then he gives me a hug and I find the strength to move again. "Li, he just left. He just left me." I cry into Liam's shoulder. Niall and Zayn look beyond confused, but I don't want to tell them yet. I'll have Liam do it. Liam and I sit for a while, me in his arms. He says soothing things to me until I finally find the strength to move again. I sit back, away from Liam and place my feet on the floor. Liam stands and I am then crowded by Zayn and Niall again.

"He just left. He just left me." I mutter. I think this explains it all to them. That they should understand me. Why don't they understand me?

"He just left me." I repeat louder this time.

Liam leaves to get me some water, and Niall and Zayn sit on either side of me.

"What happened Louis?" Niall asks quietly.

"He just left me. Left me." I repeat again. I hope they get it soon becuase i can't say much more. 

"Li, explain." I tell Liam as he walks in.

"I'm getting you to bed. We can all talk tomorrow." Liam says to me. Zayn and Niall nod and go to their rooms. Niall seems like he really wants to stay, but Liam shoots him a look and he continues up to his room. I don't think I can walk, but Liam understands and he scoops me up and carries me up the stairs and into my bedroom. 

"We will talk when you're ready, okay Lou?" Liam says as he sets me on my bed. I nod and he leaves the room. I slowly start to nod off into oblivion, hoping for a nightmare free sleep.

He left me. He just left me.

WAAAAAAA SAD TRAUMATIZED LOUIS! What will happen next? Will Louis heal? Where's Harry? DUN DUN DUN! :( -Katee