city lights ༆

XV

The next few days after the incident Jinhwan did everything he possibly could to avoid even being in the same room as Junhoe. He couldn't stand being around the younger for more than a few minutes, but he was too afraid to confront him either.

Oblivious to the signs at first, Junhoe eventually caught on to the fact that Jinhwan was avoiding him, but he couldn't understand why. Everything that happened that night was a blur to him.

Understandably, Junhoe became more distant with his father now that he knew his true feelings towards him, but he still tried to work harder in hopes that his father would think better of him and realize that he wasn't just some lost cause.

However, despite how hectic the schedule was, Junhoe couldn't stop thinking about what he could have possibly done that night to cause Jinhwan to hate him so much, but he couldn't remember no matter how hard he tried.

Jinhwan was sitting on a sofa in the cafeteria going through stuff on his laptop when he heard Junhoe's voice call his name. He refused to meet the younger's gaze, but Junhoe being his persistent self he sat next to Jinhwan on the sofa in attempt to get the older to pay attention to him.

"Are you ignoring me?" Junhoe asked, turning to the side to get a better view of the older male's face.

Jinhwan kept his eyes on the screen. He didn't want to talk to Junhoe, but he knew the younger would never leave him alone if he didn't.

"Yes. And with good reason."

"What did I do that night to make you hate me so much?" Junhoe questioned.

Jinhwan's heart ached when Junhoe asked that question. Did he really matter that little to him that he could forget something like that so easily?

Jinhwan forced back tears that were threatening to fall when images of that night flashed in his mind, but he couldn't stop them forever.

Jinhwan stood up and ran out of the building all of a sudden which surprised Junhoe. Without hesitation he quickly ran out after Jinhwan.

This time their roles were reversed because this time it was Junhoe grabbing Jinhwan's hand, but unlike Junhoe, Jinhwan didn't pull his hand away. He just stood there with his back to him.

"Jinhwan, please..." Junhoe pleaded.

"Let me go." Jinhwan said bluntly, his voice sounding a little shaky.

Junhoe slowly let go of the older male's hand. He was shocked by Jinhwan's blunt tone. He had never heard him speak like that before.

"What happened that night?" Junhoe was desperate for answers. He just wanted to fix his mistakes. He hated the fact that Jinhwan was this mad at him.

"You broke your promise. That's what happened." Jinhwan said, not even turning the look at the younger male. He could feel a lump rising in his throat when his mind went back to the time when Junhoe made that promise.

Junhoe didn't even need to ask what he meant. He knew exactly what he meant. Memories of that night came to his mind in flashes and he cursed himself for doing something like that.

"Jinhwan, I-"

"Don't." Jinhwan interrupted. "I don't want to hear it." he finally turned to face Junhoe. That's when Junhoe saw the tears filling his eyes.

"I trusted you." Jinhwan said, his voice wavering. "I told you everything!" he raised his voice shocking Junhoe a little bit, but Junhoe knew he had the right to shout at him.

"And you just-" Jinhwan couldn't finish his sentence. He was trying his best not to break down. "How could you do that to me?"

Junhoe went silent. He couldn't think of a way to answer that question. What he did was wrong, he overstepped the line and he knew that.

"If I didn't stop you that night, you would've-" Jinhwan couldn't find it in himself to continue. It hurt too much to even think about.

Junhoe lowered his head. He hated himself for doing what he did. He hated himself for not being able to stop himself and instead forcing Jinhwan to be the one who had to do what he couldn't.

Unable to take it anymore Jinhwan just ran away leaving Junhoe behind, not even giving him the time to explain himself. He just wouldn't be able to deal with that.

He kept on running without a destination until he eventually gave up and leaned against a nearby tree. He looked up at the grey clouds in the sky as he slid down the tree to sit on the floor.

He knew it was going to rain soon, but that was the least of his worries at the moment. He hung his head low when he felt a single tear roll down his cheek.

Why does this have to happen to me? Jinhwan thought as he brought his hands up to his face, leaning his elbows on his knees. He covered his face with his hands and that's when he just let it all out.

He just sat there crying his heart out, but not just because of what Junhoe did. It was also because of all the problems in his life that were weighing down on him. He couldn't take it anymore.

Meanwhile, Junhoe walked into his office and closed the door behind him. He leaned against it for a moment before purposely hitting the back of his head off of it in anger.

All of a sudden he just lashed out at everything and pushed everything off of a nearby desk. Anything that was made out of glass fell the floor and shattered into pieces, but he didn't care.

He slid down the wall and sat on the floor. He leaned his head against the wall and stared at the ceiling above him. What the hell was I thinking?? he kept asking himself. 

He covered his face with his hands trying to think of a way that he could possibly fix everything.

How am I supposed to fix this?