Book I: to cross oceans for [BxB] (trans) - completed

Epilogue

I straightened myself and wiped the sweat from my forehead impatiently.

"What am I forgetting?" I muttered to myself, shifting the contents in my suitcase, trying to figure out what I'd left out.

Migh meowed from her perch on my bed. I shifted my attention to her and scratched behind her ear, smiling as she closed her eyes, purring contently and leaning her head into my hand.

"Don't worry, it's just college, and it won't be forever. I promise to come back for family holidays, and buy you all your favorite treats," I said, picking her up and cuddling her against my chest.

She rubbed her head on the underside of my chin, still purring happily. Her claws dug slightly into my forearm as she stretched to sniff at my neck.

"I'll miss you too, Munchkin," I said softly, burying my nose in her fur.

There was a brief knock on my door before it creaked open and my mother's head popped out from behind it.

"Ready?" she asked, smiling. Her hair was in a messy bun on top of her head, rogue strands falling from it.

"Almost." I nuzzled Migh again and she purred louder.

"Okay, Matt's put all your boxes in the beast. We're downstairs waiting for you."

"I'll be down in a minute. I'm just trying to figure out what I'm forgetting to pack and that you'll have to mail me," I said.

Her face softened and she smiled. "It's okay to be nervous, sweetie."

"What? Nervous, me? I'm not nervous. I'm just worried Migh is gonna miss me. I mean, who's going to cuddle with her and watch historically inaccurate movies, while cursing the fundamentally flawed human nature of Mankind?" I huffed out a breath and blinked, trying to not look as anxious as I felt.

"It'll be fine, you'll see. And if you forget anything, you can always run to your brother's frat house and embarrass him." She smiled wickedly at me and I chuckled. "Come on, let me help."

It took some creative thinking from both of us to get the electric blue suitcase my mother lent me to close. Which may or may not have included sitting on top of it - still clutching Migh against me - while my mother struggled to zip it up.

Finally, the three of us stared at the bulky, electric blue monstrosity, standing in the middle of my room.

"Okay, I think I need a nap after that," my mother grumbled.

"Well, you wouldn't want to send me off to college unprepared, would you?" I asked, handing Migh over to her before grabbing the suitcase and pulling it out toward the hallway.

She mumbled something about how being too prepared might also be a problem under her breath, cuddling Migh as she left my room.

I paused just outside my door, the urge to look back too strong to ignore. Other than the empty closet, not much about it looked different. Same walls, same bed, and the same ceiling. But even though it was still filled with my things, it felt... empty. I wouldn't occupy this space with my thoughts and feelings for a long time - if ever again.

The emptiness tugged at me, reminding me of a similar morning, almost a lifetime ago, when I'd woken up to find a fundamental piece of me gone.

Even though the pain was still there, hurting as much as it had that first morning after finding out Danny had left, I didn't cry. I hardly did anymore.

My gaze was drawn to the book on my nightstand, its pale blue cover scratched and a bit torn. I'd taken out my feelings - all the anger, confusion, and frustration - on the poor thing. At one point, I'd even thrown it out my window, ran over it with my car, and tried to flush it down the toilet. All of that, after trying to tear it in half with my bare hands.