Langst

End the pain, Please. (1)

Did you ever felt close to death? I mean like real close not just saying. Because I was, I really was close to lose my mind, my sanity, my life and all of me that was left at this point in my life. To be honest that was not much but so it didn't mean anything anymore to me. Friends who were never there for me, so I wouldn't call them friends, came to light trying to justify their lack of love towards me. Never believed a word, they came for my money and that's it. Even though me and my family owned a lot of money and stuff my life lacked of something, cause money doesn't come from nowhere, you know? Before I was even born my life was all planned out and when I mean before birth take my word, seriously. The problem to the time I came to this world was that my sex did not match the conception my parents made up. A girl was all they wanted, but I had this thing between my thighs and that ruined everything. Being a boy perhaps destroyed my whole life, literally. Being the first born made it even worse, I guess. My little brother by the way didn't had to suffer the way I had to, he is not like me. Well, we kinda look similar but that is just the brown hair and the blue eyes we have in common.

Welcome to my story, the name's Lance and I just survived my second suicide attempt.

Of course being rich has its perks but permanently moving is not one of them. I never liked being the new guy neither was I interested in getting to know others. The people I still called parents at this point were deeply disappointed in me because of my failure to interact and communicate with people. Life of a teenager is usually a great mess but mine was hell: No social life means no friends. No friends means a lot of alone time which resulted in spending time with the people I hate the most: my parents. Even though I was their son there was nothing I could do to satisfy them or make me noticeable as a human being.

I was a teenager who suffered from anxiety and depression for years now.

I was barely a teenager the first time I tried to kill myself.