Episode 5: I Hear Wedding Bells!

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by AmienahEvergreen

by AmienahEvergreen

E p i s o d e 5 : I Hear Wedding Bells! ft Taylor Swift & Nicki Minaj

Bear: We are gathered hear today to celebrate the marriage of our beloved friend and brother, Captain Piers Morgan; to his beautiful bride, Louisa Ramsbottom.

Everyone: *cheers and claps*

Bear: Do you promise to remember and protect each- wait, why even bother? You're probably going to get divorced anyway. Just kiss the bride.

Cap. Piers: *kisses Louisa* Oh, baby you look like a million sheep.

Louisa: *tears in her eyes* Aw, thanks!

Cap Piers: No... I literally mean you look like a million sheep...

*a herd of sheep comes running into the church*

Daffodil: I object to this wedding!!!

Suarez: FORGET THE WEDDING. LEMME EAT THE BRIDE!

Daffodil: Stop! Take me instead!! *jumps in front of the bride*

Cap. Piers: Jimmy, where are my false teeth? I wanna join Suarez.

Bear: *looks confused* Should I proceed to the traditional eating of the grapes or should I sound the alarm?

Nicki Minaj: POUND THE ALARM!

Cap. Piers: *brings bear to a corner* *fishes five bank notes out of his wallet* I tell you what, here's fifty bucks. I'll pay you to eat off my naked body.

*Cap. Piers turns around*

*wife hits him on the head with a golf club*

Louisa: *starts sobbing* how could you?? after all the 5 mins we've been together, you cheat on me with a bear?!? You'll be hearing from my lawyer.

Nicki Minaj: *pulls Cap. Piers by the arm* Let's go to the be-each, let's all get away. They say, what they gonna say.

Bear: I'm still here! *waves his hands in front of Cap. Piers* Wait... am I off the hook? Okay, I'll take the 50 bucks to go. *takes the money and runs away*

Meanwhile at the church

Louisa: *sobs* what did I ever see in that caveman!

Taylor Swift: *pats her on the back* Yeah, loving him was red.

Louisa: WAIT, HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?

*Taylor runs away*

-To Be Continued-