When the Snow Melts

The Conflicted Heart

Harry and Draco had decided to stagger their entrance, Harry entering first to waylay suspicions while Draco held back. Upon crossing the threshold, Ron and Hermione had zeroed in on him, watching like twin hawks as he approached their table and sheepishly took a seat.

"Where were you?" Hermione questioned, cutting right to the chase.

"You missed lunch," Ron exclaimed in a scandalized tone.

"And you missed Transfiguration class," Hermione added, sounding equally scandalized.

"Sorry," Harry apologized, glancing up as Draco entered the Great Hall, his eyes following his progress as he crossed the room. "I dozed off while working on my Potions essay."

Ron followed his gaze, an incredulous look appearing on his face when he realized what had caught Harry's eye.

"The Marauder's Map showed you were in the Slytherin Dorms with Draco Malfoy," Ron accused in a heated voice.

He tore his eyes away from the blond, turning to glare at his best friend.

"If you already knew the answer, why did you even bother asking?" Harry snapped, finding himself irritated by the idea that his friends had been spying on him.

Ron met his glare with a defiant expression. With a sudden wince, Ron broke their staring match. Hermione had kicked him under the table, a meaningful look passing between the two of them before Ron hung his head in resignation, conceding the floor to Hermione.

"It wasn't like that," Hermione explained, a pleading expression on her face. "We had no idea where you were. We just need to make sure you were safe."

Harry made a grumbling, dissatisfied sound deep within his throat before he spoke. "It's none of your concern where I choose to spend my time."

Hermione pursed her lips in anger, her breathing shallow and forced. "You promised," she hissed, her eyes burning into him. "No more secrets – remember?"

He was so stunned at the sudden air of hostility coming off her that his own irritation evaporated in an instant. His stomach twisted itself into a nervous knot. He had promised to let them in, to stop keeping secrets from them. It just made him angry to think that they were keeping tabs on him like he was some sort of naughty child.

"I'm sorry, it's just..." he began in a remorseful tone of voice.

"Complicated," Ron spat, a scowl settling over his face.

Hermione kicked him again before turning to look back at Harry.

"Fine," Harry grumbled, caving in to the desperation he saw in Hermione's eyes. "Draco wanted to show me something – and no I'm not telling you what," he added, seeing the frown on Hermione's face. "It's not my secret to tell."

Ron crossed his arms with a petulant look. Harry ignored it as he continued speaking.

"We started working on our Potions essay and I dozed off in his room. See, I wasn't lying – just omitting some of the truth," he explained.

"And that was all that happened?" Ron questioned, his expression doubtful.

"Yeah, what else would have happened?" Harry asked in confusion.

"Nothing," Ron grumbled. "Just be careful around him. He's planning something."

Harry rolled his eyes. He'd heard all about Ron's theories on what Malfoy was up to. It didn't take a genius to realize that what was really bothering Ron was the fear that he was losing his best friend to someone else. All Harry could do was sigh and hope that he got over it soon.

"If I walked around all day being fearful of the numerous threats against me, I'd go mad," Harry admonished with a rueful grin. "Just trust me, okay?"

Hermione preemptively kicked Ron again, preventing him from saying whatever it was he was about to say. It was probably for the best that she did because it could have easily resulted in another row and for once, Harry was actually hungry. Storming out in an angry huff would have made him doubly miserable – over the argument and the lost food.

They ate in silence, occasionally casting furtive glances at one another.

<<<<<   >>>>>

He was dreaming again. A treeless landscape covered in snow stretched out endlessly before him. In the distance, he caught sight of something red marring the snow. He ran toward it, his heart beating so fast he thought it would burst. As he approached, he discovered a pool of blood forming beneath the body of a silver dragon. Ron stood a few feet away holding the Sword of Godric Gryffindor aloft, a triumphant look on his sweaty face.

"I did it," he proclaimed, strutting towards Harry with the sword still in hand.

An animal instinct overcame Harry at the sight of the dragon. With a howl of rage, he charged at Ron with his wand, only his wand had transformed into a sword and he stabbed it deep into his friend's belly. Ron took two shocked steps backward, his panicked eyes glancing briefly at the dragon and then back at Harry.

"Because of him?" Ron cried out in betrayal, falling to his knees when his legs could no longer support his weight, the pitter patter of blood hitting snow echoing too loudly in Harry's ears.

"I'm sorry – I didn't," Harry apologized, mortified at what he had done. He hadn't meant to.

Behind his dying friend, the dragon's image shimmered briefly, transforming into a familiar blond Slytherin, lying bloody and unmoving in the snow. Harry turned away, running frantically from the scene behind him. He had not made it very far before he collided with an emaciated chest in mid-flight. He looked up to see a manic smile and cold dead eyes.

"You can't have your cake and eat it too," Sirius scolded. "When the time comes, you'll have to choose."

"NO!!!," Harry screamed in denial, launching at his Godfather, raining down blow after blow on his wasted face until it was mangled beyond recognition.

"HARRY!!!," Ron screamed from far away, startling him into consciousness, his chest heaving.

Ron had a painfully tight grip on Harry's wrists and a murderous look in his eyes. Hermione stood next to him, cupping her face in her hand, her lip busted and a vivid purple bruise appearing around her eye. She was holding herself a little stiffly, protecting other injuries that he could not see. Ron let go of his arms, his breath coming in short angry pants. Confused, Harry grabbed his glasses off the nightstand and put them on.

His heart was in his throat as realization dawned on him. Hermione had offered to stay with him that night and he had gratefully accepted. If only he could just rewind events, maybe none of this would have happened. Harry shuddered violently at the memory of his nightmare, allowing the guilt at what he had done to wash over him.

"It's okay," Hermione soothed, moving to hug him with a slight wince.

It wasn't okay though. While they had teased him about attacking them in his sleep before, it had been weak shoves and kicks, never with enough force to cause any real damage. But now...

Hermione's hair brushed gently against his face, her arms wrapped tightly around him, a coppery scent hung heavy in the air. He pushed her away, studying the damage he had done, gently brushing his thumb over her bloodied lip, tears prickling his eyes.

He had to get out of there.

"I need – I have to – I can't," he rambled, his chest constricting in a blind panic, eyes wide and mouth dry.

He shoved the two of them away, his thoughts tumbling end over end, the strongest of them the knowledge that he needed to get away from there. With a wild and reckless feeling, he snatched up his invisibility cloak and his firebolt and darted from the room.

"Harry, where are you – ," the rest of Hermione's question was cut off as he slammed the door behind him.