When the Snow Melts

Desperate Measures

While Narcissa only intended to convince Bellatrix that she had broken Harry, it would seem that reality had other plans. With each passing day Harry felt his sense of self slipping away, he was grasping at memories as if trying to catch smoke with his bare hands on a windy day. Even still, there was one thing that he absolutely refused to lose and he played those memories on loop, keeping them fresh, clinging to them with the sort of desperation that can only be found in a life or death situation. He memorized the image of Draco's smile in the early morning sunlight streaming in through the tower window, the vision of him chewing his bottom lip as he worked on another entry in his sketchpad, the pure delight on his face when he outmaneuvered Harry on a broom. He just had to remember him, had to etch every image into the very depths of his soul - it was the only light he had left. One lonely candle holding back the looming shadows of his existence.

"Why has my pet stopped screaming?" Bellatrix questioned with a frown on her face, her bottom lip jutting out in a childish pout that clashed with the manic gleam in her eyes. "I so love the beautiful music he makes."

A rough jab at his side with her wand snapped him back to the present with a groan of pain. He raised his weary head to look at her as sweat stung at his eyes. His shoulders ached with the burden of keeping him aloft, his wrists raw and bleeding as the manacles cut into his flesh.

"Does Mistress wish me to sing?" he croaked out, his throat sore and angry.

The comical effect of her frown disappeared, a hard look bleeding into her eyes as she backhanded him. "Are you mocking me?" she shrieked, the harshness of her voice piercing his ears.

It was very easy to let himself cry, to let himself quiver in fear at the sight of her smoldering rage. He relinquished control of his emotions, channeling all the hurt and anguish he felt to show her what she wanted to see.

"Please don't be angry with me." the raven-haired boy piteously sobbed. "I just want to please you. Tell me what you want and I will do it."

She smiled down at him in satisfaction, wiping away his tears and stroking his cheek to sooth away the sting her hand had left. "My sweet pet, I'm sorry I lost my temper with you."

He resisted the urge to shy away from her touch, his stomach turning as she studied him.

"Do you love me?" she asked, catching him completely off-guard.

He couldn't do it, couldn't bring himself to even consider something like that. "I - I - I," the words were stuck in his throat, burning the back of his mouth with how repulsive they seemed. He swallowed hard, fearfully watching as she drew herself up in indignant fury.

"I'm unworthy," he blurted out, praying it was enough as he cowered away from her. The world seemed to stand still, his ragged breath loud and labored in his ears as he prepared for the inevitable blow.

Nothing happened. He hesitantly glanced up, his eyes slowly passing over her Cheshire Cat grin before locking onto her dark-brown eyes. She studied him as if she would devour him at any second.

"Would you die for me?" she whispered expectantly.

The answer to this question came much easier. He was already willing to die - for her, for everyone. It was only a matter of opportunity. It would be his final revenge.

"Gladly," he replied with more warmth in his voice than he'd intended as he pictured Draco waiting for him on the other side.

Her smile seemed impossible now, splitting her face like a deep canyon. She flicked her wand in the direction of the winch, releasing the tension that was holding him upright. He stumbled forward, his legs unsteady under his own weight. As he began to fall, instead of letting him crash to the ground as she usually did, she caught him and guided him gently down.