The Gift of Memory (Armin Arlert x Reader|Modern AU)

23•Honesty

Y/N's brain has been rather active lately. Remembering a lot of things. Like when she drew Armin during free time one day while he was reading. He was amazed by the drawing and told her he was proud of her.

Or when he broke down her shield that blocked her emotions. He was the only one to get through to her. He actually caused quite the variety of emotions. Things she hadn't felt in a long time and things she hadn't felt ever.

Or even when he told her that it was okay to make her own choices. She remembers that the most. "You don't have to listen to everything someone tells you to do, even your own father. You'll never be able to be happy if you always put other's wishes before you."

"I have never felt the necessity to be happy." She responded.
"You may not now, but once you're happy you'll always want to be happy."
"I still have to listen to other people."
"Not always. Just because you don't listen to me, or Sasha, or someone doesn't mean you're going to be harmed for it."
"...Is that the truth?"

He taught her how to be selfish, to feel emotions, to make her own choices. However, it may not always be for the best.

She made her own choice that was a terrible one, really. She will always remember her first time experiencing the rope tightening around her neck and her lungs feeling like they were getting smaller and smaller. The first time she ever saw so many spots of colors at once as her vision begun to fail.

What was even more terrible was poor Armin's reaction. He walked into the library area one morning after not being able to find her. If he couldn't find her, the blonde always looked in the library first. Unfortunately, the first thing he saw was her skin that was much more purple than usual and her eyes staring at nothing.

His instant reaction, of course, was fall back gasping for air. Once he was able to breathe again, his next reaction was to scream and grab locks of his hair, pulling. The scream caused everyone who heard to run toward the library and discover the corpse of Y/N L/N, who hanged herself the previous night.

It was unexpected because she never acted suicidal before this. Even Armin couldn't recall her acting weird before this happening. She didn't even leave a note. This made them wonder; was it really suicide?

Though they never found out, it really was.

-

Y/N quickly sat up in her bed, feeling sticky and warm from sweat. She looked at her phone, squinting her eyes at the brightness it was 3:01 A.M.

'I'm not going to sleep after that dream...' She thought. Though, it was really a memory.

-

"Summer starts tomorrow." Y/N mentioned. The blonde nodded. "Yeah. Eren isn't so happy about it because he has summer school." He chuckled.

"I'm not either." The (pale/tan/dark) skinned girl mumbled.

"Why so?" He raises a brow.

"My father is making me go to college next year so I have to start looking at colleges over the summer."

This made the boy turn his gaze from the sky to her rather quickly. "Really?!" He exclaimed. The girl nodded.

"It's not fun sounding for me either." She smiled.

"What are you going to major?" He asked. The girl shrugged, "I don't know. Probably something to do with either businesses or law. I've been trying to consider every way I can get out of it though."

Armin frowned. He had gotten used to having her around, it was going to suck when she's gone for college. And just when she's coming back, he'll probably be leaving.

He blushed. "I'll miss you." He mumbled before realizing he had even said it. She looked at him. A smile then made its way onto her face.

"I'll miss you too." The H/C-ette confessed. If possible, this made his blush darken. He outstretched his hand awkwardly toward her, to which she grabbed.

It was a cliché sight. Two awkward lovebirds sitting on the swings and holding hands. Cliché but cute.

-

"We should send her to an all-girl's place instead." Was the first thing Y/N heard as she walked through the front door of her own house. Obviously, it was spoken by her father.

"I don't know, she won't be very happy with that." Her mother replied.

"She's never happy."

The girl they were referring to walked through the door at the moment he said that. She tilted her head. "Mom, what's going on?"

M/N opened her mouth to speak but instead was interrupted by her husband's answer. "We're going to send you to a place over the summer. A place where you can learn how to respect adults and treat them diligently."

Before Y/N could respond, her mother chimed in. "It'll be fun! Like a summer camp."

"No way. Mom, I can't believe you agreed to this."

"It's for the best, you've been starting to act-" The mother was cut off.

"Is this because of what I said the other night? I won't apologize that the family blood isn't the most important thing to me right now. Did you ever consider the fact that I don't want to be a lawyer? Did you ever consider the fact that maybe the reason I yelled at you is because you're being too harsh? No, you didn't. You only care about one thing and that is your social status and how the family looks. Even at the price of everyone's happiness. Maybe I'll respect you a little more if you stopped forcing your damn options onto me and let me create my own. Estrange me if you have to, disown me and I'll move out, we'll never have to associate again. I don't care if that's what it will take for you to let me be happy." She ranted. Right after, she turned around and headed right back out the door.