Chapter Seven
I blink my eyes open to a normal day. But I am changed.
I stumble out of bed like normal. I get ready for school like normal. I do a mirror check like normal. But I do one thing that is above the ordinary things that I do in the morning. I get out my bible, and flip the pages to 1 Corinthians 13. I read the verse to myself again, and keep each factor in mind. Patient, kind, don't envy or boast or be prideful, or rude, self-seeking or easily angered. Rejoice in truth, protects, trusts, hopes, perseveres. Got it. I pull my hair up before gathering myself together and stepping out of my room towards the stairs.
Step one of dedicating myself to God: Being nice to my stepfather. That alone rises bile to my throat. This is a lot harder than what I expected. I linger at the top of the stairs and stare down at Nate's lumbering figure shifting around in the kitchen and the little silhouette of Cindy sitting at the table tossing a fried egg around on her plate. I take a deep breath. This is it. I have to prove that I can be like this. Love is kind. So no matter how much I want to throw up just at the thought of being nice to Nate, I have to do this. For God.
One by one, I take the steps all the way to the floor and avert my gaze to the faded tile floor. I feel eyes on me as I get my normal breakfast from the kitchen. Tension is thick between the three people in the room. Finally, my voice cracking, I say,
"Hi, Nate."
Nate looks at me with surprise. I don't blame him. I would be surprised if someone who hated me and never wanted to talk to me just said hi to me. He recovers quickly, though.
"Er...Hi, Aster?"
I bite my lip to hide a smile at his bewilderment. I continue eating my food, then go sit down at the bar. "Hi, Cindy." I call over my shoulder.
"Hi." She calls back. She grins and I can't help but feel the slightest bit of warmth at her...happiness? This feeling is very new to me.
"So...Aster," Nate leans against the bar, awkwardly.
I raise my eyes to his. "What is it?" I ask, tight, controlled.
He clears his throat. "Um...I just wanted to say that...I'm sorry, about last night."
I look up, stunned. Nate has never apologized to me before. Maybe this being kind thing is actually working better than I thought.
"I...I've decided that...I'm going to give you another chance."
I raise my eyebrows in surprise. "Really?"
"Yeah," He tells me. "I...For now on, I am going to trust you. If you really are going to...church, then I won't stop you."
"Th--thanks," I stutter.
He nods. "You're welcome."
Awkward silence. "Well," I say getting out of my chair. "I should probably be...getting to school...um..." I fumble for my bag. "Bye."
"Bye." He tells me as I head out the door. As soon as the door closes, I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my chest. If it was that hard just to say hi to Nate, then telling my friends that I'm a Christian will be like a trip to the moon. I find it cool though, that just because I said hi to Nate, he all of a sudden was friendly to me. Does that work with everybody?
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I reach the school and take in a gulp of air. I think about my friends, about Josh, and wonder how in the world I am going to tell them about my new religious status. I take slow, careful steps to the school, and ponder what I am going to say. Maybe I don't even have to say anything. Maybe I just need to act normal until the subject comes up. I keep breathing deep breaths, then I enter the school.
