A Star Wars Reylo AU: The Taming of the Professor

Forty-Four

Rey paid the driver and stepped out of the taxi. Ben's truck was gone, so she was fairly certain he wasn't home, but she knocked anyway. When there wasn't an answer, she used the key he had given her and let herself in. She checked around the house, just to make sure, but he wasn't home. The she placed her shoes under the bed and climbed in, wriggling down into the warmth and weight of the heavy covers. 

She woke to Ben's familiar, steady fingers running through her hair. He sat on the edge of the bed, and she reached out and circled her arms around him. 

"Hi," he said. "Dr. Hux suggested I check on you. He seems to think you're ill. When I stopped by your place, Finn said you had left hours ago. Are you OK?" He pressed the back of his hand against her forehead. "No fever." 

"I'm OK." 

"I wanted to talk to you about something," he said. 

She sat up. She hadn't meant to sleep for so long, but saw that it was well past dinner.

"Have you eaten?" asked Ben. 

"I'm not very hungry."

"Tea?" 

She nodded, and followed him into the kitchen. Before she met him, Rey thought tea was crushed powder in a porous paper package that you pulled out and threw in the trash after it sat in water for a minute. Ben's version of tea involved a metal ball with holes, and a variety of canisters containing loose leaf tea that he mixed together and dropped into a kettle. It never tasted the same twice, but it was always good.

He added a little honey to hers and placed it in her hands. Then he sat across from her at the little table. 

"I wanted to talk to you about this summer," he said. "It's only a few weeks away."

Her fingers tightened around the tea cup, and she took a careful sip. She knew this meant he would leave right after spring term at the end of the month and not return until August for next year's fall semester. He'd be gone almost four months. Her throat tightened. 

"OK." 

"I don't want you to feel like you have to wait around on me," he said. "I made that mistake before. You don't owe me that. My career is not more important to me than you, Rey. But I made this commitment and I must see it through. I won't make another like this again, I promise. This is the last time I'll leave you."

She stared into her tea. Her lips tingled and the skin around her eyes tightened. "What do you mean?"

"I'd like to continue this relationship. But I know it will be hard from a distance. And you're young, and I don't want to pin you down and leave you here in limbo just waiting for me. So we should talk about this summer. We don't have to date. Not long distance. If you still want this when I return, I'll be ready and waiting for you. But if you don't, you won't have to feel badly about moving on."

He was so damn calm. Her mind was blank. 

"Is there someone in Ireland?" she finally managed. 

She hadn't really thought about it before, but it would make sense. A summer off from their relationship, no strings attached. Freedom without guilt. She bit down so hard on her bottom lip it started to bleed. 

"No." The harshness in his voice surprised her, and she knocked the tea cup with a startled hand and some of it sloshed out onto the table. 

"I'm sorry. I thought maybe there was. I would understand, if there was." 

She retrieved a paper towel and cleaned up her mess. 

Before she could sit back down, he had pulled her into a tight embrace. "I promise there is no one else. But Rey, I cannot ask you to wait for me for months. I know Christmas was hard for you, and that was mere weeks. I hope and pray that you will wait. But you shouldn't feel obligated, and I can't in good conscious leave you in a situation where you feel you are. It's not fair. What are your summer plans?"

Rey was so upset she was trembling. It wasn't fair. And she knew from his tone that he had already decided this for her. He had already committed to leaving, and to releasing her from any kind of mutual commitment in case she wanted to move on with someone else. The queasiness was still there, but the few sips of tea she had taken had helped calm her belly a little. 

"I'm sorry this hurts you," he whispered. "I mean to cause as little damage as possible. I will see you in August. I don't think we'll have trouble resuming where we leave off."

She nodded, and focused on her breathing. She didn't know what she expected tonight, but it certainly hadn't been this. 

"Maz said there isn't a lot of business in the summer." Her voice still shook a little, but she pulled away from him and returned to her chair and tea. "I think I'll go back to Arizona and work for my old boss. She'd be glad to have me for the summer, and she has a little apartment on the property where I can stay."

"You intend to return in the fall, right?" Now his voice was strained. 

"Yes, Dr. Solo. I intend to continue my studies. Assuming Dr. Hux passes me."

"He will." 

"You aren't allowed to threaten him on my behalf."

"I won't threaten him. I'll just make sure he sees things the way I do."

"Mhm. He said my work wasn't garbage. I think that's a good sign."

Ben snorted. "Pretentious ass."

"I haven't been feeling all that well lately, but it's mostly stress. Don't worry about me. I'll be fine. I always am." 

I am, she repeated to herself. That's true. I am not dependent on him or anyone else, and I will take care of myself. She hadn't expected anything from him anyway tonight.  

He kissed her, and she allowed him to lead her upstairs and distract her like only he could. There was no use worrying about tomorrow. Worrying wouldn't change it.