Never let me go

27

"I saw you"

Reiner groaned internally. He was already struggling to ingest the piece of bread that stuck to the inside of his mouth like a piece of dry sponge. Porco stood over him; eyes squinted in the bright sunlight. His grin was like a knife.

"I knew you were a brown-nosing, useless piece of shit, but come on. I wonder what the pretty corporal would think if she knew you were creeping around the bushes spying on her. Have you been peeping while she's changing too? Honestly, how can you even stand, when you have no spine" he sneered contemptuously. Reiner felt his face twist into a grimace, growing hot.

"I was-" He did not know how to finish his sentence. All the explanations he'd so carefully gone over in his mind had sounded pathetic, even to him. He'd been stalking far behind her through the narrow streets, crouching behind an overturned wagon, praying that no one would come by and spot him. Why, out of all the people in this camp, did it have to be Porco? Giving up on making any excuses from himself he looked Porco in the eye, letting his mocking smile burn him.

"What's the excuse Braun? I'm dying to hear it" He laughed. "I didn't think so. Seriously though, you're embarrassing yourself. Us too, because we have to be associated with you."

He was about to go on further when Pieck showed up behind him. She leaned heavily on the wooden crutch pushed up under her left armpit. Their titans had been used to fortify the city in the last two weeks, and unlike the rest of them Pi had spent the entire time up until now transformed.

"What are you two talking about?" she asked, through Reiner knew she must have heard at least part of what Porco had said.

"Nothing, Pi."

Reiner thought Porco did not want her to see how petty he could be. He tried looking down at his hands, but felt pretty sure Pi had seen the look of embarrassment on his face anyway.

"Pock, have you considered that it might be a good thing if Reiner was on good terms with one of the officers?"

Embarrassed to have been caught mocking Reiner by Pi, Porco sulked. "As if that'd ever happen when he keeps acting like some pervert."

Reiner had to fight the urge to stand up, grab Porco's neck, and throttle him. He wanted to defend himself, but what could he say? Iris had spent the last two weeks busy with everything that didn't involve him. She'd left him in his tent that night, naked, sticky, and confused. He'd felt embarrassed that she'd come in and found him naked, when he always slept fully clothed these days. Embarrassed that she had put her hands on him, and not asking what she wanted or anything, he'd just let her do whatever she wanted. She had touched him, pleasured him, and he had just laid there passively like a dead fish. He was not even sure he'd wanted it. Or rather, he had wanted it, but he had not wanted it to happen that way. She must have been disappointed. And then to make matters worse he'd teared up. He dared not think of what she must have thought then, being forced to comfort him like he was some massive, dribbling child. She must have been disgusted, that's why she had left so quickly. Not a word to him in two weeks. For some reason she had come to him, given him a chance for some sort of reconciliation, but all he'd given her was a disappointing sexual performance and tears. No wonder she was avoiding him. She must have come all this way hoping to find the person he'd pretended to be with her, and been disappointed to find... This.

His bread slipped from his grasp and fell to the ground. He looked at it, disappointed that it had not lodged itself inside his throat and killed him instead.

Every early morning she would spend an hour with Jun out in one of the abandoned districts of the city. He knew because he had followed her there one morning, and every morning since. He knew that he shouldn't, but he couldn't stop himself. Sitting there, crouched low and watching them in secret was such bittersweet torture, he felt as though he'd become addicted. He'd watch her move in a way he'd never expected to see from her. She had always been good in the air, but clumsy on the ground like a duck out of water. Now she was quick, agile, and deadly. But no matter how good she was, the silent man was better. He would make the air sing with his wooden practice swords, too quick for the eye to see. His thrusts, kicks, punches were savage, and when they hit their mark Reiner found himself cringing. She took the hits, bled, bruised, but kept rising. Day after day they repeated their savage dance, and he found himself wondering if Jun was the reason to why Iris had changed. Judging by this brutal training it was a small miracle that she had survived in his care. She had always been good at surviving though, he had to admit.