Never let me go

31

A/N: Warning, the last segment of this chapter depicts some explicit acts of violence. Read at your own discretion.

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31

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"No." All the colour seems to have drained from his face. His eyes are wide and pale, glowing feverishly. He shakes his head in slow motion, resembling one of those twist-up monkey toys that turn their heads while frantically playing some miniature instrument. Iris has never understood why you would give such a toy to a child unless you meant to scare it. Those toys all have mad eyes; as if they have seen something so unspeakable it has driven them from their minds.

"Yes."

His brows push together and twist into a pained expression. His mouth opens and closes, then he grits his teeth.

"That's impossible. We have served well for over a hundred years, they have no reason to- What would they do, round us all up and put us somewhere to be-" He throws his hands out, looking as if he is stifling some mad laughter that threatens to bubble up his throat. "But how, what is this thing even?"

"I do not know."

He sighs and his shoulders sink as if he is deflating. For a moment he appears to struggle against the acceptance that is slowly creeping over him, but then he steels himself, eyes flashing as he grinds his teeth together.

"Alright, so it's true. I've had my fair share of thoughts of what will become of us in the end but I never expected to live to see it happen. He disappeared though; does it mean that he refused to create this weapon?"

Iris feels herself smile grimly, and Reiner falls silent. He sees that he must have gotten some of it wrong, and the skin of his forehead crinkles as he thinks on what.

"He did not refuse." His eyes search for hers.

"No. But once he figured out that it was only a matter of time before Marley would decide to rid themselves of the Eldian race, and that they were happy to slap his name on this ultimate solution, he decided to flee with his unfinished invention."

"What about the other scientists? Could they have finished without him?"

"Not unless they have found a way to work out of their graves."

Reiner looked relieved. Iris could only smile thinly, knowing that he would not like this next part.

"In the years after his marriage to Elfrida Bachmann my father made a name for himself in Mitras. He was acknowledged by the previous king Uri Reiss in year 835, and after that he was put in charge of a division tasked with developing highly addictive combat enhancers for the king's henchmen. In year 839 he had gained enough autonomy to finish the work he had started over ten years ago, and in secret he awoke Jormungandr." She feels her face twist into a grimace.

"You can imagine what he was thinking the day you and Bert demolished Maria. Obviously he has never trialed Jormungandr on titan shifters, but he is certain that it will take you too. If you two hadn't stopped when you did-" She broke off, not really wanting to dwell too much of what could have been. Once you opened the door to that, other things came flooding through. There was just too much of it, so many bad, but also so many beautiful things that could have been that never would be.

It seemed to her that her life could be divided into three parts- The early days with her father laced with light, wonders and unimaginable terror. Then had come the long summer, the time that began with her enlistment in the cadet corps. And lastly there was this time. It had taken from her, home, dreams, that fragile understanding of the world, and it had taken friends and enemies alike. It wasn't all bad though, she had gained a few things too, Jun, a second life, and los.