Never let me go

28: A little

28

He straightened his tie for the third time within thirty minutes, finding that it felt as tight as a noose around his neck. His heart beat fast as he thought of being in the same room as Marley's military leaders. Such a thing had never happened before, and he wondered if it was a good sign for the Eldian people. Could it really mean that they were pleased with the warriors efforts? Little beads of sweat formed at his temples, and he brushed them away wishing he owned more than one white formal shirt. Today's shower had been the first one he'd had in weeks, and he did not want to show up to the party smelling of sweat. Trying to think of calming things only made him more agitated, and he decided that he had to get out of this house before it smothered him.

He ran a hand through his damp hair as he walked out the door and headed down the stairs. His mother was waiting in the room below, pretending to read a book in one of the soft chairs. She stood as she heard him coming, eyeing him as he grabbed his army jacket from the hanger by the door.

"Your tie" she exclaimed and came to him. He wished she would leave it alone. He wanted to tell her not to touch it, but the words died in his throat. He wondered why he was afraid to confront her as she undid his tie. "I suppose it is my fault, I should have taught you how to tie one of these before- Anyway, we can't have you showing up in front of General Calvi wearing a crooked tie. There, that's better." She brushed imaginary dust from his shoulders, and he put his jacket on.

"I should go" he said. She nodded.

"Oh yes of course, you mustn't be late." She paused a moment. "I'm so proud of you."

He drew back from her and tried to smile though they both knew his joy was feigned. Then he leaned into her, placing a dutiful kiss on her forehead.

"I'll be back later"

With those words he left the house behind and walked onto the dark street outside. The lights from the houses outside of Liberio lit up the sky, but inside all the smaller streets were unlit. He steered his steps towards the main gate where he would meet with the others. He had run into Gabi as he stepped off the train platform, and she had been ecstatic to see him. She had told him all about her training progress in the weeks since he had left, and he had listened with half an ear. His aunt and uncle would bring Gabi over for dinner at their house tomorrow, and he was glad for it. The house was less quiet when Gabi was around, and he had come to appreciate that. She had grown so much since he'd first come home from Paradis, but even as he met her the first time she had told him that she would become a warrior too. He wished he could tell her how he felt about that, but then what would it change? She was already a cadet and the top of her class as well. Somewhere along the way he had resolved to protect her from all of this, just like Marcel had tried to do when he influenced the higher ups to pick Reiner over Porco. He hoped that one day Gabi might understand his decision the way he suspected Porco had come to understand Marcel, even without being able to access his memories.

Pi was already waiting by the gate together with Colt and Porco. Both of them wore their best shirts and their formal suits, while Pi was wearing a dress for once. The outfit was slightly ruined by her not very clean military jacket, and the shabby crutch she was still leaning on. Her hair looked silky smooth though as it reflected the lights framing the metal gate beside them.

"Good evening" he said to them.

"Well" Pi looked him up and down, nodding her approval. "You clean up nicely, Reiner."

He tried to smile again rather half-heartedly.

"That goatee makes you look queer" Porco muttered, but he smiled while doing it so Reiner took it as a sign that he was in a good mood.