Never let me go

32

32: The price

Iris heaves herself bolt upright, gasping for breath and shaking like a leaf. For a moment she sees a twisted figure looming at the foot of her bed, its arms flapping in terrible convulsions, feet drumming deafeningly against the floor. Its mouth is wide open, howling like the wind across the open sea. The stuttering eyes roll in their sockets, expelling streams of blood that runs down the things cheeks like red tears. Its ears and nose are bleeding, and its frothing mouth seems filled with red foam.

She blinks, and the thing is gone.

Still shivering from fright and from the adrenaline pumping through her system she looks around, half expecting to look over the edge of the bed to see a pale hand slither out from underneath it. But there is no hand. Knowing that she is just scaring herself she lets her eyes wander to the full length mirror on the opposite wall. For a moment she allows herself to think that she will look into it, and the body beside her on the bed will be a cold, grinning corpse. Just the imagining makes her heart leap inside her chest.

But it is Jun sleeping beside her, and the things she lived through a few minutes ago were just a dream.

She pulls the blanket up to her chin, still too wired to lie back down. She should not have thought of Master Solak before going to sleep. For a while now she has been able to sleep peacefully through the night, but that can change quickly. Our thoughts are dangerous things, prone to taking on a life of their own if left unattended. Despite being shoved into the deepest, darkest corner of her mind, Oroboshi had waited for her in the depths of sleep.

How long will be it be until he is finally gone? Something inside her answers that she will never truly be free of Red Star because she is not supposed to be. It is all in the way of los she supposes, but finds no comfort in the thought. Los is the flow that runs through the world, and all things are swept along with it like leaves tumbling downstream. Nothing can ever turn back. What once was will never come again. It does not stop there though, not with her world, because there are other worlds and los runs through all of them. Quite spooky to think of really. She shivers.

"Jun? Are you awake?" Her voice sounds high pitched and whiny like that of a small child who suffers from bad dreams. To his credit he does not actually stir before he wakes, but she can hear his breathing hitch a little just before he opens his eyes. To no avail Iris tries to swallow the lump in her throat.

"I dreamt of the Ahn-kahat ..." Actually I dreamt of Red Star and his ornate spear. The arrogant fucking whoreson didn't even stop to make sure I was gone, he just left me there to do my own dying. I hope that he puked his own guts out, and that he died with the taste of shit in his mouth. She hungers to be comforted, but something inside her feels as though no amount of comfort could ever be enough.

Jun just looks at her as though he expects her to continue, perhaps hoping for her to present him with some kind of problem than he can resolve.

"How old were you when they cut your face?" she asks rather coldly. His expression does not change, and to be honest she had not really expected an answer. She had asked because it is a touchy subject.

See how you like that one. Not at all I think, that's what that dumb look on your face says. There, now you know how I'm feeling you bastard. What do they call mutes like you in the camps? Where I grew up we called them dummies. Got nothing to say eh dummy, cat got your tongue?

She turns her face away from him, and her hands coil into fists. Can Jun feel her thoughts like she can sometimes feel his? Her cheeks feel hot, and she blinks back the tears that burn at the back of her eyes.