Waters Edge

Chapter Seventeen: Coming Home just to Watch it Burn

Soon the afternoon turns to night time and I feel the need for sleep tickle the edges of my brain, but I so desperately want to see Patrick again. My thoughts rattle around and then it hits me, I think I am desperately head-over-heels in love with Patrick. I bite my lip and laugh never truly expecting for me to be able to love someone like this, but the thought of his smile, his laugh, makes my heart flutter I would do anything to hear him laugh. He is so innocent and pure, like a small child excited by new things. I want to give him everything he desires, I would give him the moon if he asked. I would find a way. I want to give him gifts just to see the way his face would light up, I want to spend every morning waking up next to him.

Another thought hits me then, that Patrick and I won't ever be able to have a normal relationship. His life is bound to the water and mine to the land. We will never be able to do something as simple as taking a walk down the beach. I shake the thoughts away, just being able to be with Patrick, see him every day and talk to him, that will always be enough

I stand and stretch ready to settle back in the cabin for the night knowing Patrick probably won't be back again tonight, and not quite wanting to sleep on the deck again.

However, before I get inside I hear splashing and run to the back of the boat to see Patrick sitting on the edge of my boat. I drop my book and blanket and jump down, he looks up at me and smiles I slide down next to him and throw my arm over his shoulder and plant a kiss on his cheek. He blushes brightly and smiles. I put my legs in the water and Patrick props his arms on top of my knees and smiles up at me, a light blush on his cheeks.

"I couldn't wait," he whispers softly rubbing his thumb over my thigh and I feel my heart stutter. I play with the ends of his wet hair and sigh in content.

"Part of me can't believe you actually came back, I am so happy you did." I bite my lip cupping Patrick's cheek running my thumb over his cheekbone so prominent in the pale moonlight. "So what now?" I ask, hoping he will suggest a late-night swim, or say that we can spend the whole night just like this because of both sound like a dream, but instead Patrick frowns and looks away from me leaning back into the water a bit. I feel confusion flood my system as he looks up at the sky and sighs before looking back at me with his sea-blue eyes.

"I don't know Pete." I feel like I can't breathe for a moment because it sounds like the other shoe is about to drop and I don't know if I am prepared for it. I slip down into the water between Patrick and the boat and wrap my arms around his shoulders.

"Hey, that's okay I can enjoy just this." I say with a small smile leaning into him going for a kiss, "I don't want you to ever leave again, I really, really, like you Patrick," I can't tell him just yet that I love him, I am too afraid of his answer. As I lean further he leans back quickly and I feel my heart drop. The gills on his neck flutter and he dunks under water for a moment and it is just a reminder that he will never be human, never able to be above water for too long because Patrick, as much as I wish he was, is not human. He has his own life, friends, and family under the water. I am the one that stole him away from that, got him kidnapped and tortured. I am the reason for the scars littering his arms.

We were never meant to meet, never meant to be together and as these doubts and feelings swirl around in my head I look into Patrick's eyes and see the same emotions reflected in his eyes. Or maybe I am just reflecting my own hopelessness in his crystal eyes.

"I think it is best that you forget about me, Pete." His voice catches and I dig my nails into his shoulder blades.

"What do you mean Patrick?" I ask my voice sounding broken and squeaky. I pull myself to him and grab a fistful of his hair softly and press my chest to his. His tail works steadily between my legs keeping us afloat.

"I am different Pete, Mermen are different. From humans, like you. All sea creatures thrive with the ocean, but did you know that the ocean currents are dependant on the moon?" He hesitates for a moment and I nod slowly because I do know that from some weather channel somewhere doing a bit about surfers. "Well, merpeople draw energy from the moon much like the ocean does, which is how I turned into a human, and then back into a merman. It is how I got the energy to escape the Titan. I can never live without the moon or the ocean Pete, my life is bound to it. You know I can't stay human, and I know you have seen my eyes change colour, it is because when I feel bursts of deep emotion they change colour. You have heard what my language sounds like and it hurts human ears because it is meant to be spoken under the water. I have people that I can't leave here Pete, but I know that if I come back to you like this you will always be here waiting for me. Sitting here wasting your life on me for something I can never give you. I wish you could have moved on, and forgot about me, I wish I could have." Tears are running down my face and he wipes them away gently.

"Patrick plea-" He puts a finger over my lips and swallows down his own tears.

"That is why I have to do this Pete. For you. So, you can move on and be happy because we can never be happy together." He bites his lip and cups my face in his hands.

"Patrick wait, I don't know what you are trying to say but just being here with you right now that makes me happy. I am happy, please Patrick I love you don't do this." I cry hiccupping on my words and he takes a shaky breath before leaning in and kissing me. It is slow and deep, like Patrick is trying to taste my very soul I throw myself into it but I can't enjoy it because I know that it is a kiss goodbye.

When he pulls away he doesn't let go of my chin. His eyes turn black, enveloping even the whites of his eyes and I can see the reflection of my own tear-streaked face in them. He takes a deep breath "You are going to forget everything about me. One day while you were fishing you cast a fishing net, later that day when you went back and pulled it back up tangled in it was a golden necklace. That necklace brought you a lot of money, and a chance to start over. Unfortunately, your boat crashed during a terrible storm, you almost died but you thought you could start over and buy a new boat. That was a mistake and you are now going to sell it. Then you are going to take all your money and move as far away from the ocean as you can because after that boat crash you are terrified to go back into the water. The ocean is a sign of death, a vast nothingness that reminds you of every troubling thing you wish to forget, which is why you will never return no matter what. Pack your things and leave as soon as you can." His eyes turn back to blue and I reach out for him but my vision is filling with black spots and my body feels limp.

"Patrick?" his tear-streaked face is the last thing before the world fades to static and I lose consciousness.