Waters Edge

Chapter Sixteen: Can't Live Can't Breathe Without You

I hobble over to the mirror hanging crooked and broken in the corner of my house and I wince. I trace my ribs and run a hand down the hollowed-out husk that was once tone muscle and a layer of chub. I brace my other hand on the mirror as I twist to see the scab on my leg. I trace a finger over it gingerly and cry out when I press too hard. I limp back over to my bed and put a fresh dressing on it. I then rub crème over the healing rope burns on my wrists and ankles. I pull on an old shirt and the once tight fit now looks like a tent on me. I stare at the dark circles under my eyes and my limp greasy hair and feel a well up of emotion come over me.

This is no longer me, my body has changed, my life has changed. Its been almost two months since Patrick left me and every day it hurts, like a piece of me is missing. My face looks like a stranger staring back at me. I grab a pair of scissors out of my kitchen and hobble back to the mirror. I take a deep breath before grabbing chunks of my black hair and chopping them off. I let them fall down onto the ground and don't stop until I am left with a short uneven mess. I bite my lip and wipe the loose hair off. I rub a hand over the short hair growing on my chin and decide not to shave it off.

It has been a month and a half since I told Brendon and Joe what happened I made them both swear to secrecy but they both occasionally stop by my house to make sure no one is messing with me. Sometimes we have dinner together. I spend more time in town with them. Brendon sometimes jokes about all the cool things he could get for his shop if he knew a mermaid, but every time I cringe so he stopped mentioning them all together.

Three weeks ago, when I was still in the hospital Andy came back. He demanded answers but seeing my state and hearing my story I am not sure if he believed it but Joe nearly knocked his teeth out so he gave back the money he stole and left without another word. Last I heard he was touring fancy billionaires' parties with the necklace, and most likely searching for more merpeople to capture.

Patrick has stayed true to his word, since the day we escaped I have not seen any sign of him. My heart aches when I look out into the ocean and I feel like a piece of me is missing. My leg is still healing, the bullet went through a pretty important muscle so I still hobble around and have to change the bandages on it regularly. I lost a lot of weight when I was kidnapped, I hate how I look now. I am unable to work how I once did, but with the money, I have now I don't have to work another day of my life if I did not want too.

I stare at my reflection and cringe pulling on a pair of shorts and shoes before making my way into town. I hobble into the barber shop and the girl working their stares at me in shock a moment. I have seen her around before but never asked her name. The news of me supposedly getting trapped in a cave and nearly dying spread around town like wildfire, so everybody looks at me with some sort of pity in their eyes.

"How do you want it?" is all she asks and I let out a grateful sigh. I leave with short styled bleach blonde head of hair, but she leaves the beard.

I don't want to be sad anymore but the day a boat show comes into town and I see a beautiful cruiser yacht I can't help myself. I buy it and all the extra features included. It has a cabin with a bed and a small kitchen, and the back has a small ladder to a deck that sits right on top of the water. I feel guilty after buying it because it makes me feel trapped, stuck in this life with no way to move forward and too far gone to ever turn back.

I spend a week just sitting on the dock staring at it turning the keys over and over in my hand, part of me wants to just throw them as hard as I can out into the bay and run away and never look back. Damn Patrick for making me feel so broken like this. I can't even look at spaghetti anymore without crying. I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't live without him and it hurts me so deeply every time I think of him.