I'm back. YAY!!??
I have no excuse for my absence so I'm just going to live with it. I updated the 'Yoonmin' book yesterday and am working on updating the rest of them today. I've had writer's block for a while but that's no excuse for leaving you guys hanging.
I haven't forgotten about you all. I read all your comments and try to reply to all of them. Thank you guys so much for all the love and support you give me even though I'm a crappy author. I will try to update every day or every two days.
I'm telling you now I won't update tomorrow due to tests and homework I have to catch up on. But on Thursday I will definitely update a chapter or two.
I don't want to bore you guys with my talking or in this case 'Writing' so let's get right into the chapter.
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Tae knows somethings up. I can tell he knows. My stomach has been showing more and more these past few days and I can't hide it. We share a house and sleep in the same damn bed every night together. I can't hide it even if I wanted to.
I've been wanting to talk with Jimin, Jin or even J-hope and ask them for advice some shit. It's getting harder to keep this secret from Tae. My parents told me he is the father and he has the right to know but it's also my body so I also have the right to keep this from him.
We haven't really seen each other these past few days because of our different schedules. They changed my dance practice to the afternoon instead of morning and Tae has morning practice so when he's gone I'm home and when he's home I'm gone.
I've also been coming home later than usual. Practice ends at 10 but I've been coming home at around 11 or sometimes even 12. I don't do anything bad. I just take long walks by the lake we live nearby and think.
I turn off my phone to avoid distractions and Seoul is very quiet in the night time so it's very relaxing. I try to avoid going home because one, Tae is there and two it just reminds me of everything I have to tell him.
When I'm out of the house I forget everything and enjoy my life, but as soon as I step through that door I'm reminded of everything.
I don't know how far along I am since I haven't been to the doctors but guessing by the size of my stomach I'm around a month. I really need to talk to Jimin or Jin.
I'm only 21. I wasn't planning to have kids this early. I still want to pursue my career and continue singing for ARMY'S and everyone. This baby will only take up my time and stop me from achieving my goals.
I've always wanted a little family with Taehyung. He's the love of my life after all but I didn't expect it to happen this early into our relationship.
Most people might think I'm selfish for wanting to get rid of my own baby or not wanting to tell your loved one but if they were a famous idol and in my shoes. They would understand. Tae would understand.
Being born with some female parts is good and bad. Good because it allows you to have children of your own but bad because you can get pregnant anytime without even knowing it. I'm happy I'm pregnant but at the same time, I'm not.
I want to tell Tae but at the same time, I don't. This is a decision for both of us to make and to deal with together but like I said, It's my body and nobody can change that. If I want to get rid of it or abort it then it's my decision.
Sure, Tae will be sad since he loves kids and sure the members would get mad at me for doing something selfishly but I want to pursue my dreams and career. I've come too far and I'm not gonna get held back just because of a little human that wasn't even planned.
If Tae doesn't agree with my decision then that's too bad.
I only speak the truth.
We can't keep this baby.
A/N: I feel like I ended the other chapter exactly like this but as I said, I have writer's block and was texting my GF while writing this and my mind went blank in the middle of writing this so that was fun. But anyways, as I said. I won't upload tomorrow but I will on Thursday. Hopefully, my writer's block is gone by then and I can upload two chapters. That is all I have to say or write.
Have an amazing day or night.
I Purple You ARMY'S
- Snowflake Out -
