Genesis || ✔

[ 7 ] Autumn II

"Yeah, I mean, he's beautiful. Sometimes he's warm, bright and glowing, but other times he's the coldest person I've ever met and I swear to god you could see the ice in his heart through his eyes. Autumn is beautiful, but what people seem to forget about this season is that it's when everything is dying. It's actually rather morbid when you think about it. That's why he reminded me of autumn because he was so beautiful but he was dead inside. No emotion, no feeling, no nothing." - Excerpts of a book I'll never write (via 500lettersforyou)

It was autumn, and we had come to a full circle.

I had met Seth Vasquez for the first time over a year ago, loved him, gave him everything I could possibly give, and lost him, along with the portions of my heart that I had gift-wrapped to him.

I had understood, then, what the girls in Entrepreneurship had meant when they said that Seth only had flings. It was stupid of me to think that I could be the one to change that, that I was special enough to make him want something more than just a fuck buddy.

I guess it was inevitable that I would fall for him, what with his good looks and charming smile, any sane girl would find it difficult to resist. Though I never got the closure, and Seth never made it clear that we (or whatever we had) were over, it was evident that I was no longer his flavor.

I watched the leaves fall from the tree in the middle of the parking lot, spiraling its way to the ground, much like my heart, as they encircled Seth and his newest conquest, Ally, before landing on the dirt.

In all honesty, Ally was a surprise. Nobody would've guessed that he'd go for the eccentric music club president, or that she'd return his advances because she was supposedly playing for the same team (meaning that she liked girls, if you didn't get that reference). But he did, and she did, and there they were, standing in the middle of the parking lot, all cozied up against his car. He kissed the top of her head and I had to pinch myself to keep myself from crying. He had never shown any physical affection towards me in public - one of the red flags that I had chosen to overlook before.

I willed myself to turn around, but I was not fast enough. Seth caught me looking, and something flashed in his eyes (longing? regret? dare I hope it to be sadness?) before it was replaced with indifference. He gave me a tight smile and I returned one of my own before breaking eye contact and walking away.

It was one of the hardest thing I had to go through.

A full circle, and I was back where I started.

Seth was but a familiar stranger now, and my Genesis had only truly begun.