Perceive

Death And All His Enemies

There are various stages of grief.
Denial
Anger
Bargaining
Sorrow
Acceptance.
I was still in my denial phase.  Me and my brother were orphans. Sam was smart enough to hide out as soon as he found out the truth. Telling him this,would ruin him. This wasn't even their fight to begin with.
But before all of that I had to track him down and make sure that he was alright. It wouldn't be easy, but that had to happen before I told him he was officially an orphan.
Hell, honestly, I needed the time to adjust to the fact that I had no more parents, ever again. The finality of that statement shook me everytime. No one ever anticipates an accident. That's exactly what happened in the park. I was just about explaining to my parents the entire truth, and I saw laser pointers. I got them to run duck cover, anything I could think of. Turned out, that it was an elderly couple who was playing with their cats. By getting them to paw at lasers. Sounds sweet, doesn't it?
Don't be fooled really. As soon as my parents came out of the bushes, there were four ringing shots. The couple and my parents, everyone dead. The cat ran for it's life. Smart cat.
I ran to chase after those ass bastards, but I was too late.
They had escaped in a helicopter.
Fast forward to me coming home.
I told Adri everything, and I cried. For the first time in 26 years, I had cried. I cried till I had nothing left to give. And then I cried some more. Inspite of all the crap I'd been through, I'd known my parents and my brother were safe, and that would be my talisman. My talisman to keep trying to keep my soul intact.
Now I was done. I was more than done. I was about to go kick Adri out and go and burn those bastards alive, when I suddenly felt a movement. It was from within.
I stilled. I didn't realise for almost more than a minute, that my kid had kicked me for the first time.
In my overwhelming sadness at the loss of about 90% of my family, I completely forgot the fact that I was pregnant. Almost at 4 months. 
I know...mazel tov and all that. But I'd lost almost everyone I'd loved. I wasn't about to gamble my kid's life. That's when I decided, that it was time to disappear.
I was going to disappear off the face of the continent with the rest of my family. Whoever was left.
And then came pride. And of course, unrelenting, incurable, rage. I wanted revenge. I wanted blood. I wanted to twist their minds to replay hell for them like fucking movie day.
And while I was stewing in my juices, I completely forgot that Adri had done something to me, which permitted him to read me like a book.
I swerved around on the balls of my feet on pure instinct, when I saw him.
I don't know which thought he had read first, the one where I wanted to run or the one where I'd felt murderous. Now the reason for that stream of thought was his expression.
It was a cross between wanting to agree with me and strangle me at the same time. I knew his tirade before he started it. I let him have it anyway.
About 15 minutes into it I knew he was completely against letting me or the baby go. Everytime I would think that this was it, that I was done with staying with him, he would prove me wrong. He would make it sure and underline the fact that I was going nowhere without him.
I let him have it.
I let him have whatever he wanted.
He wanted a shot gun wedding, I'd give it to him, he wanted a lung, a kidney, a liver, I'd give it without question.
When I woke up the next morning, Adri was gone. And I don't mean the gone for a jog gone, I mean gone. With all of his stuff, his phone, I'm even guessing his fingerprints were gone from my place.
While I was doing my best to find him and then abuse him, I completely missed the note on the fridge door. That is, till I found it.
It read,
Cass,
I know I have told you on multiple occasions, that I want to marry you ,and now with the baby on the way, it would only be fitting to do so. But unfortunately, I also have realised that my physical condition isn't fit for me to be around, kids or a married settled neighborhood.
I'm so sorry Cass. I hope that one day you'll forgive me and move on.
I love you, now and forever,
Yours till I'm dead,
Adrian.