Maybe poetry?

Fucked up

part of me is sober enough
that it doesn't hurt any more or at all but I get like this
where all I want is you and I want to call you when I'm sad and
I wish you were here holding me because I constantly fuck up and

miss you holding myself up some days is hard as hell you're all I think about you just keep me sane enough to make it through the day
my head is spinning as I type this out

and I'm so fucking stoned that if I had the words to describe it you wouldn't believe me because fuck me I constantly wish you still were apart of my life

and I shouldn't I shouldn't even fucking think of you but yet I do? Why please explain why I constantly think about you when I saw you that one time

I wanted to cry I wanted to let you know I'm still here still existing and yet I wish I was dead somewhere in a ditch so you couldn't ever hurt me again

I just don't wanna be alive anymore I hate This because you just sit in the back of my mind and haunt me digging clawing and yet I just pray you won't come back to me