You Never Know | The Misfits | Fitz

Resurfacing

@TheNil: tragedy is a vision of nihilism, a heroic or ennobling vision of nihilism

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@Lulu: it's been 2 months...
@User1: why haven't you been posting?
@User2: you hung out with those youtubers that post once every once in a while so I guess now you take after them
@TobyOnTheTele: I miss you <\3
@GoodGuyFitz: I know you see the snapchat every day but your succulent is doing well
@User3: why are they all talking like they haven't seen her? Did something happen?
@themccreamy: I miss having a buddy that was as good as games as me, come play with us again sometime?
~

Nil scrolls through the comments, almost regretting no turning the comments off. She wanted to let them know she was okay but now she was realizing how much she missed them.

"Are you okay up there?" Her newest friend, Michelle called from the bottom of the stairs.

"Yeah I'm good, just smoking." Nil calls back.

"I saw you posted, are you okay?" Michelle asks, coming into the room where Nil was sitting.

"Yeah no I'm fine. Really. I just wanted to let them know I was still alive you know?" Nil smiles weakly.

"Want to go for a walk?" Michelle holds her hand out, knowing that would get her in a better mood. Nil doesn't even answer, just takes her hand and leads her out as they start their walk.

Michelle knew very little about what actually happened but she knew not to push Nil too much or she'd just shut her out. Today she wasn't going to hold back.

"So why did you pick Seattle?" Michelle asks as they turn down a well lit street.

"I knew someone here who I could trust," Nil shrugs.

"Oh really? Is it that Kugo guy you always hang out with?" She looks over at Nil.

"Yeah, he's part of the group of friends I used to be in but he's definitely a bit more distant from the group. I didn't know him very well but we had talked on occasion and bounced ideas off of each other and I knew he was a good person. I guess me showing up on his doorstep after leaving everything behind and him just taking me in proves it." Nil explains.

"What started the fire?" Michelle asks as they turn down another street.

"Some of the kids were playing with fireworks and they set one house on fire and all the houses were pretty close to each other so it spread easily," Nil frowns.

"So because your house burn down and you lost everything you left all your friends behind and moved to the other side of the world?"

"I didn't come on this walk to be judged,"

"I'm not judging you, I'm just trying to understand the situation better I guess. I mean I get you're a nihilist and like nothing matters to you but you seem to care at least a little bit about your friends back home," Michelle points out.

"How do you figure?"

"Well you miss them a lot which should be enough to prove it but you also posted on Instagram literally just to let them know you were alive. I mean they knew you were alive, or that one that sends you Snapchat's every day does at least. But you went out of your way to show them you were okay, that should be enough proof that you care."

"I guess I do care about them..."

"What does that one snapchat you everyday for anyway?"

"He sends me a picture of my succulent that I left in his care to show me it's okay. I'm really glad he does, it's kept me going for a while."

"A succulent? I thought you said everything burned."

"Everything did burn, except for that. I would've left it with Lu but for some reason I felt safer leaving it with him..."

"What's so special about it? Does it have magical powers?"

"No nothing like that, it was the only present I every received from my late mother. I never really got along with my father and when my mother passed I took on her role of taking care of her beautiful garden. When she had been alive she taught me how to take care of it but I didn't have the best green thumb so she gave me that succulent and told me it was easier to take care of. She told me to talk to it whenever I had problems and it would listen as long as I took care of it. Shortly after her death my father couldn't stand to see me because I looked like her and I guess me taking care of the garden didn't help so he bought me a one way ticket and told me to never return. The only thing I brought with me was a few changes of clothes and the succulent. It's lasted all these years because I don't want to let my mother down, you know?" Nil pours her heart out.

"Wow... I had no idea." Michelle's voice was soft.

"It doesn't matter though, once I die the succulent will die. As long as I outlive it I don't have to feel guilty for it." Nil quickly covers her emotions and smiles.