Confused, silent, and suicidal

Bus Fiasco

*55 minutes later, after shower*

After I got out my 50 minute shower, I did my hygiene thingy thing, put on my undergarments, and walked out the bathroom to my bedroom. There I found my sister sitting criss-cross applesauce on my bed with clothes laid out on the bed.

" So, what do you have arranged?", I asked walking closer to her.

"Well, I picked out a PINK hoodie, black skinny jeans, and black uggs", she said gesturing towards the outfit.

" I thought you said no pink", I said frowning at my sister. " I really got into a whole where-black-clothing feeling."

" I know, I'm sorry, but then I felt like wearing our PINK hoodie sweatshirt, so to bad!", she laughed.

" Ok, whatever.", I said putting on my clothes. I'm not gonna lie I was rocking that outfit, for a split second when I looked in the mirror ,I actually felt good being me, it was a good feeling...it wouldn't last forever though. I liked the way my outfit made my body look good. It showed my curves. The sweatshirt made my boobs look bigger, The skinny jeans, made my butt look big, and my uggs made my feet look smaller.

" I'm gonna go in the shower now.", she said sighing. " I'll try and make it quick."

"Mmkay", I said. " Wait, what'd you decide to do with our hair?", I asked. I never knew what to do with my hair. It was just so long, like what am I supposed to do? Leave it down resting on my butt? A sock bun? French braid? High pony tail? Flat iron? Curly? Kinky? Beach waves? I just don't know.

" Erm...", she said contradicting what to do. " let's flat iron our hair and leave it resting on our backs."

I let out a small chuckle. " It'll be resting on your back, mine will be resting on my butt." Ariana's hair has always been shorter then mine, and I absolutely loved teasing her about it. Mine went past my waste, while hers stayed above her waste on her back.

"Fuck off", She laughed. " Just like do your hair while I shower, then I'll do mine later."

" Ok", I said walking into the bathroom bare foot.

*Ariana went in the shower, while I did my hair*

I looked into the mirror in our bathroom and looked into my grey eyes in my reflection, Hideous😒

I found the flat iron, plugged it in, and started pressing out my hair. I had to bring my hair over my shoulder so I could get it all straightened out. I set the iron done to let it re-heat and put in all my piercings. Nose piercing? Check. 3 earrings in each ear? Check. Tongue piercing? Always there, but check anyway. I put on my black eyeliner, black mascara ( I didn't even need it but I felt ugly as usual so why not, right?), and my light pink lip gloss. Even with the make up on I still wasn't pleased with my appearance, I never was, I probably never will be. The thought of someone finding me, me of all people beautiful was just truly ludacris.

Once I finished getting ready, and my sister was out the shower drying off, I decided to go downstairs to check on my doggies, and get something in my system so I don't throw up blood, which usually happens when I don't eat.

I ran down our 38 carpeted stairs, still barefoot, with my hair lightly hitting my back. Once I reached the bottom of the staircase I was greeted by my three bundle of joys. My Yorkshire terrier(male), Appleton, My golden retriever(female), Cocoa, and my pit bull( female), Brownie.

"Hello my little minions", I said in the most squeakiest voice I've ever heard, it shocked myself that I made so an annoying sound.

They laid down in return. I walked over them to my mother(Annabelle, she was the white parent) cooking breakfast, I hugged her.