Hunger Games Gone Awry

Chapter Four: We salute you, President Snow!

Effie hadn't cared much for any other events up until the actual games. And this was it, the tributes will soon rise from the ground, ready to grab their weapons and begin the fight. Effie was carefully placed into a tree away from all the arrows and knifes that were about to be thrown.

 Effie crossed her legs and plastered a smile ready for the cameras to begin rolling. Which they began to do shortly. Soon the tributes rose and the monotone voice was counting down the seconds. Effie patted her wig and turned to the camera, dramatically looking over her shoulder. "Hello, I'm Effie Trinket, and the seconds are being counted down as the games are about to begin, who will come out as victor this year? Stay tuned!" She boomed then turned to the tributes.

Most of the tributes were surveying which supplies were closest to them. Careers glared daggers at some of the tributes already having in mind who would be their first kill. And then less than three were looking around unsure of what to do. Effie frowned at them, the would probably be first to go.

Three seconds were left, and it seemed like everyone was semi alert now. They all eyed the supplies hungrily until the last second was up and they began to bolt to get supplies. Except for a few who grabbed the first thing they seen and ran off. Then, something very unexpected happened. This very something had Effie too shocked to speak. A sweaty Haymitch ran right in front of the cameras. He made sure he was in the cameras view. He struggled to breath, then swiftly turned around, pulled down his trousers and-

Oh gosh, he didn't! But he did! Ew! That is so disgusting! Effie cried out in his mind as Haymitch mooned the camera.

"We salute you, President Snow!" He said as he lifted his trousers back up, gave a soldier salute, and ran away again.

The camera man coughed a bit as a few canons went off. He was highly disturbed as he turned the camera back on Effie. Her jaw was dropped as she played over what happened. A shiver fell down Effie's spine as she slowly turned to the camera. She had to try a few times before she could speak, and even then it was shaky.

"Well, it seems the games are already loosing members. And.. this will be a very...eventful games." Effie paused then turned the attention back on her. "You know, I remember when I was younger. I had never thought I'd be an escort for the games. I had my first job as a wig model, but then I took a sudden turn and now, here I am." Effie sighed only to discover the camera man lost interest.

Effie huffed and was about to do her classic strut, but then remembered she was up in the tree. She looked around for some low branches she could climb onto, but none were in her reach. She swung her legs a little, but realised there was no way she could jump. "Um.. can someone help me down?"

Haymitch came running towards the clearing but stopped and searched around confused to where her voice came from. "Mama Brandy, is that you?!" He shrieked and looked around.

"No Haymitch! It's me! I'm up here, above you! Climb the tree and get me down!" Effie kicked the tree with her heel.

"Mama Brandy?" He began to climb the tree opposite of her. Effie let out a groan of annoyance.

"Haymitch you idiot! The oak tree! Not that one! No! Haymitch! Wrong tr- Haymitch! Stop climbing it!" Effie cried out in fraustration. Haymitch fell from the tree, convienently located just ahead of Effie. Close enough to use as some sort of trampoline.

Effie was about to jump when something caught her eye. A squirrel sat on a branch near her head, more specifically by her wig. Effie let out a small gasp and slowly, very slowly turned her head to face the squirrel, The squirrel swatted at her wig timidly.  "Um, excuse me but please don't touch my wi- hair."

The squirrel ignored her request and swatted again. "Get away little rabid creature." Effie hissed leaning away from the little animal. The squirrel tilted it;s head like it didn't understand, and swatted once again. This time nearly knocking her wig over.

"Oh heck no! Somebody! Hold my heels! I'm about to serve Katniss some squirrel!" Once Effie finished her last sentence Katniss popped out from a bush with a plate in her hands. Just then, a group of squirrels gathered behind the first one.

"Oh my Charlie and the chocolate factory~ It's a whole gang of them!" She screamed and fell out of the tree. They all started to pounce on Effie, who attempted to shake them off, but instead ended up right on Haymitch's stomach. Efie managed to roll away before he can vomit on her again though.

"Get em' Katniss! Owch!  AHH! My hair!" The camera was directed at the tributes from district 4, by Effie could be seen in the background as she rolled around on the ground. Once the squirrels were off she ran away without thanking Katniss.

She quickly looked around and ran up to the tributes, Jesi and Leslie. She had a wild look in her eye and she panted heavily from her fight with the squirrels. Katniss was seen in the background dragging a pillow case full of squirrels.

"My hair! Oh my poor hair! Is it okay?!" She frantically looked between Jesi and Leslie.

"Um... It's a wig.. and it looks fine.." Jesi responded slowly, as if she was sure Effie would understand. Effie sighed happily, then she noticed the camera in front of them. She plastered that smile again and pushed Jesi and Leslie out of view.

"Life is hard. Life is hard for me too. Always expected to be glamorous and beautiful." Leslie snorted in the background. "But Mama Effie used to tell me I was a star, and we all know she was true and-"

"Effie's he's gone." Leslie suddenly spoke up. She was right, he went off, probably to fill something more interesting than Effie and her Mama Effie stories.

"Well that unfortunate.. He missed a good story." Effie frowned and pouted slightly, drawing the corners of her lips down.

"Why are there camera men, anyways?" Leslie sighed at the slightly childish Effie.

"Budget cuts my dear, budget cuts." She responded then grabbed their shoulders gently and led them away.

"99 Bottles of beer.. no wine.. no..99 bottles of various alcohols on the wall, 99 bottles of various alcohols on the wall! Take them all, give them to me, the end." Haymitch lulled himself to sleep.

Anthony, also known as T-Man from district 3, attempted to convince Katniss that squirrels were evil and poisoned. Courtney dragged him away to discuss an alliance, and T-Man shrieked from her slightly taller height. She quickly drew out some duct tape, wrapped some around his mouth and quickly threw it somewhere behind her. Conveniently where Effie's little camp was set up. This knocked a sensitive spot on her head, also knocking her out cold.

And to think, this was only the beginning of all the games. Told you this would be fun.

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Hope you liked the chapter! Dotty (AvengersGirl410) made me get off my lazy bum and write it. :P Dedicated to my Wattpad mommy, Mama Tori!

                                                                                                  Love, Kitty