Excuses

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by crowlaid

by crowlaid

Holy shit, first chapter about something that isn't roughly related to those little mdc dwellers. We made it guys.

But honestly. After 26 parts (which surprisingly only adds up to five pages due to my lack of focus or attention or even effort in this book) and 33.8K reads, you gotta grow a little. Shed your wings, jump into the ever burning light. Deep shit.

So, here I am.

And here's what I fucking despise: excuses.

Like, yeah I use them: no shit. But when they're so absolutely ridiculous, it can actually leave you shell shocked.

Like, a couple weeks ago I was workin a stand at the beach because I needed money and Angela needed someone to help yell at people to buy coconuts, I was all fucking in. And when a group of ten or so woman walked by I smiled politely like the little polite bitch I am and politely asked if they wanted coconuts. The women glanced at each other before smiling sweetly and said:

"Oh, we're all allergic."

All of you guys are fucking allergic, eh? Every single one. Every single fucking twelve of them. Were they a herd of women wandering around the beach, each avoiding coconut for their dear, ever shortening life? Were they a fucking club? Can I look it up on fucking craigslist and fucking see an ad asking for middle aged woman who were allergic to coconuts to group at the beach that day and hold a convention for the life threatening coconuts? Like holy fucking shit.

Honestly, tell it to my face. Tell me you don't want my coconuts. Tell me I'm a piece of shit and throw one at me. Drop kick me into the fucking parking lot, while telling me I'm a piece of shit and having your friend throw a coconut at me as I tumble through the air. Fuck it, set me on fire while doing all of the fucking above just DONT FUCKING GIVE ME THAT WEAK ASS EXCUSE.

Holy fucking shit I am in rage I am putting myself in a rageful baby-like state just remembering this moment. Anyways, to finish the story, I smiled politely and said "Wow, you better check what you eat today then," and sashayed the fuck away.