Highest Fall You'll Ever Grace •a bastille fanfic•

CHΔPTER TWELVE

"You'll never be good enough for anyone or anything. You seriously are better off dead, you know that right? I just want the best for you." I looked up to see my mother running her fingers through my hair. I sat up and turned back around to face her.

"Jessalyn, I'm just trying to help you," she repeated, smiling reassuringly. I looked around the room. Where was I?

I looked down at the large bed I was in, soft white sheets wrapped around me. I was in Kyle's bedroom. When did I get here? Why was my mother here?

"I'm too afraid to die," I admitted, and it was true. I wanted to die but I was too afraid to.

"I see what you do to yourself," my mom leaned towards me, gesturing towards my arms, "it can't be that hard for you."

I choked back tears. "Stop," I glared at her. Why was she saying all of this to me?

"Just die!" she shouted in my face.

I rolled towards the other side of the bed and hid my face in the pillows, letting my tears flow onto them. I looked back up but it wasn't my mom sitting there, now it was Kyle.

When did he get here?

I sat up and wiped my eyes. "What was she doing here?" I sneered.

"Giving you advice," he said blankly. His face was white and his face was as emotionless as a brick. He looked... dead.

"Stop!" my voice cracked. I covered my ears. I didn't want to hear any of it. What was going on?

Kyle came closer to me and rested his hand on my cheeks, stroking his thumb up and down. He stared into my eyes, but now his eyes shimmered in a way that made me uncomfortable.

"Kyle?" I mumbled.

He pushed me down onto the bed and climbed on top of me.

"Kyle!" I said louder.

He tugged at my shirt as I tried to squirm away.

"Kyle! Stop! Stop... STOP!"

My eyes flung open. I could feel the sheet of sweat on my forehead and the tears burning in my eyes. My heart was beating out of my chest as I tried to breathe normally.

I tried to swallow but my mouth was completely dry.

I felt a hand on my shoulder as my eyes darted around the room. I was on Kyle's couch in Kyle's flat and Kyle's hand was on my shoulder and a very scared and concerned looking Kyle was kneeling in front of the couch.

I hid my face in my hands and tried not to cry. I also tried to forget the nightmare I just had. What even was that about?

"Jessalyn, are you okay?" he whispered. His voice was filled with fear.

All I could do was slightly nod.

"What happened...?" I croaked, wincing from the sound of my dry-throat voice.

"You were screaming. Like, literally screaming," he told me.

"Oh," I breathed. I wiped my forehead on the jumper I was wearing. More beads of sweat rolled down my forehead.

He put both hands on my shoulders, facing me more towards him.

"Seriously, are you okay?" he asked again, completely serious.

I had never seen Kyle Simmons more serious. I had seen a lot of emotions in Kyle over the past few days than I ever thought he was capable of. He always seemed like he's just one of those people that are always happy and chipper and hyper. Which is why I always questioned how he would manage to take care of me, me being the complete opposite.

I nodded, but it was a lie. Anyone could tell just by looking at me; I was not okay.

"I just want to sleep," I mumbled, yawning.

He picked me up and carried me into his bedroom. He put a pair of boxer shorts and a black t-shirt on the bed for me to change into. He went into the bathroom and changed into his own pajamas.

"What happened?" I asked as he walked back into the room, finally remembering going over my my house.

All I remembered was all the screaming and pushing and shoving. Then everything went black. I never wanted to relive anything like that again.

"You fell and hit your head on the wall," Kyle said, coming over and lying on his side of the bed.

"Do I have a concussion?" I asked.

He raised an eyebrow. Clearly not the question he was expecting?

"I don't know. We'll see how you are tomorrow," he said, staring at the ceiling.

"What happened after I blacked out?"

"I took your bag that you were packing and I took you," he said as if it was that easy.

"My mom didn't do anything?" I kept the questions flowing.

"She finally said, 'Fine, just take her. I don't have to worry about her anyway'," Kyle said, trying to brush it off as if it were nothing.

I wanted to be away from her but my heart sank as Kyle said that. It still hurt that my own mother didn't want me. She didn't want to take care of me, and I'm sure what she said in my nightmare she would actually say to my face. It would always hurt knowing that.

I rolled over away from Kyle and closed my eyes, just now noticing the pain in my sides and head. I ignored them and tried to sleep.

I felt Kyle's body against mine, his arm wrapping around me. I tried to shrug his arms off a bit. I knew Kyle was just trying to make me feel safe, but I just couldn't stay comfortable anywhere anymore.

I could hear his steady breathing, and tried to fall asleep to it.

I had too much going through my mind.

Maybe the nightmare I had was a sign. Maybe I was just better off dead.