City of Heavenly Fire: My Version

If I Want Anyone It's You

Clary was standing in the bathroom debating whether or not to go back out there and get her clothes and see if they left or if she should just take a shower and go out in a towel. The latter it is. She pulled the blood soaked shirt over her head and tossed it in the hamper in the corner. She then pulled off her shorts and panties putting them in the same place. Since she didn't dress herself and she was bleeding to death at the time, she didn't have a bra on.

She turned to look in the mirror and practically jumped back. Her hair was blood stained and tangled, her face had dried blood on it, blending with her freckles. Her neck was coated with dried blood along with her chin flaked with it too. Her lips were chapped and cracking with blood in the cracks. Then her chest had dried blood on it from where her blood had soaked through the shirt.

She shook her head and went to the shower. She turned it on and got inside, closing the shower curtain. She immediately started scrubbing her hair and watched the blood roll down the drain. She reached for the shampoo and put it in her hair, scrubbing and scratching at her head with her nails, trying to get all the blood off. She let it sit and reached for the bar of soap. She ran it over her body three times before rinsing it off and rinsing her hair out. Then she took the bar of soap to her hair too. When she rinsed that out, she put the conditioner in her hair and waited for at least five minutes before rinsing. During that wait she grabbed a washcloth and put some coconut scented body wash on it and scrubbed herself down.

She felt filthy, and she knew why. Sebastian raped her and caused her to almost bleed to death. She felt disgusting. Out of all the things she could remember, that had to be the thing that came first. She couldn't remember why he did it. Only his name and the fact that he was her brother; making her feel twice as disgusting as she already did feel. She knew he was evil and that he wasn't her real brother, only by blood, but that isn't a real brother at all, and by the way he was treating her and acting, there is no way in hell she would label him her brother.

When she rinsed her hair again, she stood under the hot water for a while, staring at the water that went down the drain. It was completely clear. Then why do I feel so dirty? Did I antagonize him to the point of raping me? Was I supposed to die? Does he want me dead? Questions buzzed in her head, but getting no answer, she finally decided that it was time to get out. She turned the water off and opened the curtain. She reached out and grabbed a towel and wrapped it around her body after drying her hair with it. When she looked in the mirror again she didn't cower away from herself.

She stared at herself in confusion. "Who am I? Am I really engaged? If I am, why did he choose me if he can have anyone he wanted? Why me? Who am I?" Clary whispered to her reflection. She turned to the side to observe her figure. I am small, not what most men want. So why does he love me? I am not complaining, I just want to know why.

She sighed and turned away from the mirror and started walking to the door. She took a deep breath. She was about to find out if they listened. And if anyone was in there she secretly hoped it would be the blonde boy with the golden eyes she was supposedly engaged to. "Note to self, ask names." She whispered to herself like an idiot and turned the knob.

She stared for a second and looked around. Maybe God does grant me miracles sometimes.

The blond boy with the enchanting eyes was laying on her bed staring at the ceiling.

Jace laid on the bed, after everyone left probably from fear. She was strong, and cunning when she spoke about Sebastian. Her eyes had burned with hatred and anger. It made her all the more beautiful. Jace was lost in thought when Clary opened the bathroom door and stepped out. He stared at the ceiling for a moment before turning to look at her.