Belligerent

PROLOGUE

Some days it felt as if reality was something else. Feeling surrounded by ...matter that is unfamiliar to you.  A dream wasn't at all like what one usually experiences, but the feeling was mutual.

Reality has never made any sense to me.

That's the way it is, they say. Others believe the ones above are playing with their lives as if they were in a simulation. The other quarter believes...it doesn't really serve any purpose.

"When are you ever gonna stop sitting your but off on this chair the whole day and solve cases?!"

I shyly muffled a soft chuckle at my co-worker. "Also, do you have any plans for tonight? Me the others are going out for some you know," she said, showing gestures of drinking.

"I have to say no again this time, I'm kinda.." I said, awkwardly rubbing the back of my neck.

"Ah don't worry about it," she said, patting my shoulders "But hey, let loose some other time, yeah?" she continued. Her face lit up as she left my desk and I smiled at her. I felt indifferent about choosing work over social matters. There was always something that felt amiss within me and I couldn't put my finger on it. 
After checking my wristwatch, I continued working. I don't think it surprises me anymore that most of the people here clock out early, but I guess it must be nice to know that someone is waiting for you in the arms of your loved one after a long day at work.

As time passed, the station became increasingly empty until I was the only one left. Normally, I wasn't troubled by the silence within our unit, but at this very moment, an unsettled feeling was beginning to build. 

The yawn left my lips as I gave up after watching screens and compiling reports about recent cases for hours. Gathering my belongings, I prepared to leave. Surprisingly, people were still in the city at this hour, especially with such monsoon-like weather. Weather like this makes you want to snuggle up with a hot beverage at your side, not go out and do activities.

But at the same time, I shouldn't be speaking.

I know I haven't seen people I was really close to for years. Although some memories are still hazy, I am coping with them. It was as if I had seen someone I knew and I ought to recognize them. Every day, I feel sorry for myself. To talk to someone like me, a girl who lost her memories must've been heartbreaking for the other person.

But one thing's for certain though,

A boy.

I have supposedly cared for and loved a boy. He was the only one who stood out in the midst of all those vague memories. 

And for whatever reason,

he was there.

Within a few steps of me. Looking at him, it seemed the entire world around me vanished. It took him no longer to close the distance between us, that he walked closer and closer. It was just the two of us in our little bubble, oblivious to anything else. While neither of us said a word, he embraced me. The kind of embrace one gives to someone they adore, not just any embrace.

For a few seconds, I stood motionless, letting him embrace me. This familiar scent was what triggered a million thoughts that lingered at the back of my mind. Everything finally felt clear with him in my arms. The pleasing sensation. The comfort. The pain. The tears. Memories of those sentimental moments with him caused tears to well up in my eyes. 

I returned the favor and hugged him back.

"I missed you." 

The slight breeze of a winter night brushed through us as we stood there silently. My eyes were still closed as I embraced this moment. In moments like these, I wish it were real and not a dream. In case it was just a dream, I have no desire to wake up and ponder on a mere moment generated by my imagination. Goodbyes in general suck. Because some goodbyes mean forever. 

Yet the world seemed to hear my thoughts.

"I missed you, too."