All Grown Up

Chapter 5

The next morning she very quietly got herself ready for work and she straightened out her short blonde hair and put her glasses on and her purple scrubs. She put her phone charger and phone in her pocket as well as her hospital badge and keys she pulled a sweater on and snuck downstairs to not alert Bucky. She went into the kitchen and prayed for the Keurig to hurry up. Just as she pouring creamer into her coffee he came up behind her and said "You can't avoid me forever." 

"shit" she whispered. 

Then she turned around and he smiled and said "Now that's an Olivia I remember." when he seen her glasses. He walked over to her and he said "You are mad at me because I didn't know." 

"Buck it's not cause you didn't know. It's because I don't wear these as much anymore I got rid of the braces and grew these and you suddenly want to notice me now. And you were the first boy to ever break my heart." she said 

"Liv I don't understand how did I break your heart I didn't know that you had a crush on me and to be honest doll you are 5 years younger than me. You were like 10 when I started to get into girls." he said 

She bit her lip and looked down and said "I was sitting on the front porch doing my homework when I seen you kiss Ella on your front porch the little blonde girl you dated when you were 15." 

He looked at her and said "My first girlfriend." 

She shook her head yes and said "I was sitting on my porch doing my homework and I seen you two sitting on your porch swing and I watched you kiss her and it hurt cause that's when I started to like you and I watched as you kissed her and it made me cry and I ran inside cause Ella was so beautiful with big blue eyes and big boobs and didn't have glasses or braces. I knew then that no boy would like me cause I didn't look like her." 

"Olivia.." he said 

"I have to get to work." she said as she wiped tears and left the kitchen. 

She saw Steve and said "Have a great day I'm on call tonight so I won't be home." 

Bucky looked down and said "All I ever did was seem to hurt your sister without knowing." 

"Buck she was 10 years old she didn't understand that you couldn't date her all she knew was that her heart was breaking as she watched you kiss Ella. She's grown up since then." Steve said

"But she's only had one boyfriend Steve..I have yet to hear her or you or Nat talk about anyone else she's dated. I made her feel like she wasn't beautiful cause I picked on her I called her names and when she watched me have my first kiss with my first girlfriend I made her feel like shit about herself because I didn't know that she liked me." he said 

"You didn't know Bucky." Steve said 

"Yeah I know." he said 

He left to go to work. That night when he got home he started to go through his pictures that his mom gave him before she passed away. He saw all the pictures from when his mom and Sarah would take pictures of them at the firehouse holiday dinners and when he saw the ones with Olivia after she was 10 she was always in the corner looking so sad. There was a picture of him with Ella and Steve and his first girlfriend Ashley and little Olivia in the background in her elementary cheer uniform sitting with Paige hugging her. 

He said "God I'm such an idiot how could I not see that she was hurt not because I picked on her but because I made her feel like crap no wonder she hates me." 

He heard her come in the next morning after staying at the hospital all night and she was about to go in her room and he opened the door to his room and he said "Come here." 

"Buck I'm really tired I thought we were doing talking about it." she said 

He pulled her into his room and she saw pictures all over his floor and she said "Bucky what have you been doing all night." 

"My mom gave me all these before she passed away as I looked at them I realized that I'm an ass and horrible person." he said 

"Bucky stop ok I was 10 years old I'm 25 now I know that I shouldn't of been such a big baby about it ok.." she said

"Then tell me something..if that's true then why have you not tried to date anyone." he said

She looked down and he said "Olivia." 

She wiped tears and said "I just want to go to sleep Buck please." 

"Just tell me the truth and then you can go to bed. Why does it make you uncomfortable when I flirt with you? Or for that matter whenever any of the guys at the firehouse flirt with you." he said 

She looked down and said "Cause that little girl is still there. She's in the back of my mind all the time that little girl who tells me that he could never like me cause I don't look like this girl or that girl. Or in your case I don't look like any of the girls you have dated. Now can I please go to bed." as she walked out and slammed her door. 

Later that day Olivia went by the bank to withdrawl some money from her bank account and went and put money on a apartment. She packed up her room and Bucky walked in and he said "hey what are you doing." 

"I'm moving out."she said 

"Liv.." he said 

"No I can't be here." she said 

"STEVE!!!" Bucky yelled. 

Steve came running upstairs and said "What is going on?"

"I'm moving out." she said 

"Olivia.." Steve said

She took her boxes down to her car and then came in got the rest and then she said "I'll be back to get the rest of my stuff and I had stuff in storage that dad put there I had movers help me get that stuff out for me when I paid for the apartment it's closer to work so I won't have to borrow gas money anymore." 

She drove off and Steve said "What the hell happened?" 

"I don't know." he said 

She came back later and got the rest of her stuff and Bucky said "Why are you leaving?'

"I just can't be here I don't want you to think that you can't date cause I'm living here too so I'm gonna go.." she said

"That's not why I haven't dated anyone I just got divorced 4 months ago Olivia I'm not ready to date anyone seriously and I'm not really one for a one night stand." he said 

"Well I won't be here when you are ready." she said as she got into her car. 

"Liv stop this." he said 

"I have to go." she said

"Don't do this I'll miss you. It felt like old times when I use to stay with Steve I would get to have you make me breakfast. Your brother doesn't cook like you." he said 

"Buck I have to. It's easier on my heart if I do this." she said 

"Liv just tell me where you are staying at then so I can come see you." he said 

"Why?" she said

"Because since I've been home and losing my mom you have been the one thing keeping me sane. Yes I picked on you but I also stood up for you I know I broke your heart when you saw me have my first kiss with Ella and I'm sorry I never thought I made you feel like that." he said 

She looked down and he said "Liv I really am sorry for everything I did to you." 

"Ok." she said 

She got into her car and drove to her apartment.