smoke // clifford

// fourteen //

the small package was once again in my hands. i had opened a few more books to see if she has anymore packages. and i was right. i found three more packages. disappointment filled my emotions and i didn't know what to do. a few moments later, miranda came walking in the room again. 

"hi, do you wan-" she started to say then saw what i was holding. "where'd you find that?" she asked worriedly. miranda started walking towards me and tried to grab the packages out of my hands. but i took a step back and looked at her. 

"really? again? i thought i told you not to use this shit." i asked trying to sound calm. 

"i know, but it just makes me feel good and i like it." she said trying to grab the packages once again. 

"of course you like it, miranda! it's a fucking drug! it's suppose to make you feel good! but you shouldn't be using a fucking drug to make you feel good!" i yelled. 

"then what am i suppose to use then, michael? huh?" 

"me! you can use me! i'm right here! i want to be the one who makes you happy and feel good! not a god damn drug!" the room was silent for a few moments before i let out a big huff and set down the packages on her desk. i put my snapback back on and grabbed my phone and left her room without saying anything. miranda's footsteps were following mine. 

"where are you going?!" she asked when i opened the front door. 

"if you want a drug to make you feel good, then go ahead. even though, there's somebody right in front of you that wants to be the only reason why you're happy. but when your life starts turning into shit, miranda, i'm not going to be there to help you. or when you run out of money to buy more drugs, and need something to make you feel something, i won't be there." and with that i left her house. 

+

when i got back to luke's, i went straight to my room. if she was going to mess up her life like that, then it shouldn't be my worry. i didn't want a pointless, over-priced drug, to make her happy. i wanted it to be me. i wanted me to be the reason why she smiles, laughs, or even cries.

but i guess  all floated away in the air, just like how the smoke from our cigarettes do. 

+

hello! i am pretty proud of this chapter. it was so fun and exciting to write. dedicated to @5applesauce bc her comment on the last chapter made me smile! 

but snapback michael on the side bc it get's me weak.