hold my hand, darling. i'll guide the way

sneaking out

Jungkook stared at the bowl of oatmeal sitting in front of him. He had just woken up.

It was ten in the morning and his father had left for work three hours ago. There was a note on the fridge that read there's pizza that you can reheat for lunch. Please work on your homework and clean up your room. Do not leave the house!!

If he wanted to see Taehyung today, he would have to leave in two hours.

He finished the bowl and stood up to trudge back to his room. It wasn't very messy, only a few dirty shirts discarded on the floor here and there, and Jungkook threw them in the hamper fairly quickly.

He laid down on his bed and sighed into his pillow.

Taehyung...

He wanted to see him, but he didn't want to get in trouble. He didn't know what time his father got off from work on Saturdays. His schedule was unpredictable. 

He thought about the way the sun shone in Taehyung's eyes. He thought about the way his voice was so deep, so soothing, a lullaby that could lull him to sleep. He thought about the way that he was always wearing sandals, bulky wooden things that made him very tall.

He thought about the way Taehyung's arms felt wrapped around him in a tender embrace.

Jeongguk wanted to feel that again.

He stood up and headed over to his closet. He didn't own very extravagant clothes, almost everything was either black or white. What was the point of color when you couldn't see it very well?

He tugged on a black sweatshirt and pulled on some sweatpants, then checked his phone for the time. It was eleven, an hour to go.

He sat down again and stared at the floor. Should he go?

You said you wanted the sun, a voice in his head reminded him, you said you wanted happiness. How are you ever going to reach the stars if you never take risks?

I'll go, Jungkook decided.

>>>>>

At 11:30 on the dot, Jungkook gathered up his cane and headed out. It usually only took him fifteen minutes to get to the park, but he wanted to walk slow. He wanted to savor the morning air. He usually always stayed inside during the weekend.

He pushed away the coiled mound of nerves in his stomach at the thought of his father catching him sneaking out. If he were to find out that Jungkook had left the house with permission...

Nevermind, Jungkook would be sure to be back before his father returned. He would hang out for two hours, no more. His father usually returned later in the evening, so two hours should be plenty of time to hang out and return without getting caught. With that reassurance in his mind, Jungkook trotted down the sidewalk and whistled a low tune under his breath.

He always felt odd being out in public with his cane. He didn't feel young. The cane made him feel old, like he couldn't truly be youthful when he had to rely on a piece of stick for walking. His legs felt like bricks as he dragged them along, and suddenly the morning air didn't feel as fresh. 

You're doing this for Taehyung, he reminded himself. You're doing this for an angel.

He quieted his thoughts for the rest of the walk, and as he arrived at the park he felt slightly more relaxed. Despite all his worries, it was nice to be outside, soaking in the rays.

Taehyung hadn't arrived yet, so he took a seat on a bench and decided to wait.

>>>>>

Thirty minutes later, he was still waiting. He dug the toe of his shoe into the ground and pulled his hoodie up to hide his downcast eyes.

Where was Taehyung? Why hadn't he shown up yet?

Maybe it's because I'm pathetic, Jungkook thought, slouching down on the bench. Maybe he finally realized how useless I am.  

He drew a sad face in the dirt with his shoe.

"Hey!"

A loud shout rang through the air, and Jungkook jerked his head up quickly.

"Hey! Sorry I'm late!"

It was Taehyung.