Moments Of Defeat

Chapter 3 - You Must Have The Words In That Head Of Yours

I woke up to the sound of rain, i was still feeling extremely tired. I slowly opened my eyes to reveal a sleeping Dan, his face was just inches from mine. His chest rising and falling rhythmically, he looked so sweet and innocent like a child. I could feel his warm breath against my skin, it gave me goose bumps.

I felt like removing myself from the situation, but it felt good to have someone this close to me. I didn’t feel as lonely for once, his presence made me feel warm and safe. I decided to stay, and nuzzled my head back into the pillow, falling into a pleasant slumber.

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“Ella, Ella, wake up” I could feel someone prodding my shoulder, “Ella”, their voice louder this time.

I opened my eyes to see Dan propped up on his elbow looking down at me “You need to go now”

“Huh, what?” I asked slightly confused

He nodded his head toward the direction of the door, there stood Anna and Liz, and i could see Dave standing at the back looking in.

“We need to go now Ella, it’s getting late and my mum wants us to leave now” Liz sighed

“Oh okay, let me just get my stuff” I got up and made my way down stairs, grabbing my bag and putting my shoes on.

Everyone was waiting in the hallway, getting ready to brace themselves for the weather outside. Dan and Dave offered to walk us to the train station, since we weren’t very keen on using the tube.

We made our way out into the stormy weather, Dan and Dave had umbrellas, and Liz had her own. Just like when we were walking around Leicester square, Anna and Dave where paired together under Dave’s umbrella, Liz walking beside them, and me and Dan behind them sharing his umbrella.

We didn’t really talk on the way to the station, but i didn’t find it as awkward as earlier. I felt that he wasn’t expecting there to be a lot of talking, after our small talk earlier which didn’t go very far.

We were just making our way towards the station when Dan piped up “Thanks for today, i enjoyed it a lot” he sheepishly smiled

“Yeah um me too, thanks” I shyly replied

We got into the station and Anna found out which platform we needed to go to. We said our goodbyes to the boys and we made our way home.

I had my headphones in whilst we were on the train, i preferred that to the awkward silence of the empty train.

An hour train journey and car ride later, i was back at Liz’s. We hadn’t spoken properly since we were at Dan’s.

“I’m just going to get into my pyjamas and brush my teeth” I said as i grabbed my bag and made my way to the bathroom.

Liz had already gotten changed and brushed her teeth; she was now sorting out my bed on the floor.

She climbed into bed leaving just her bedside lamp on, and i climbed into my bed.

“Night” she called

“Night” i replied

She then switched of the lamp and the darkness took over my vision.

It was silent for a few minutes, and then Liz broke the silence, “I’m sorry”

I just wanted to know why, she knew i would be like this, she knew it would upset me. I felt embarrassed and ridiculed, and most of all exposed, “I just have one question”.

She didn’t reply, so i took her silence as a means to continue.

“Why?” i continued

I heard her sigh heavily then she said “It was Dave and Anna’s idea, i wasn’t up for it at first but i guess i just got a bit carried away. I didn’t mean to upset you, i know you didn’t really want to come out today and I’m sorry if i made it worst.”

I didn’t want to stay mad at her; I’ve never fallen out with her before. And i hate it when there’s conflict with friends, but still i wasn’t going to forget this. “I forgive you, just don’t do it again. Please”

“I promise i won’t” she said

“Soo do you like him?” she asked in a hushed innocent tone. Are you kidding me?

 “No” i lied “I’m going to sleep now, night”

“Night” she replied.