Always You

xliii. Anna

Losing Eleanor and my sister in one day was awful, sure it was, but being the new queen of Arendelle meant I would need to cope. I had coped with losing Elsa the first time. I coped with my parents deaths alone. I coped with the betrayal from Hans. I coped with the surprise pregnancy that made Eleanor. I coped with every horrible thing that had happened until now and I would continue to cope with things until the day I died. 

Two years after Eleanor had disappeared, Kristoff and I decided we were ready to have another child. It was strange, to be welcoming our second child into a home where they would be the only child, but we were hopeful that Eleanor would be home soon. Jack had given us his word, even though we had not seen or heard from him since that day. I knew he was still looking, I was sure of it. 

Our son was born in mid-July, a completely healthy and ice-free little boy who we named Kristopher. He was beautiful, his hair a lighter shade of reddish-blonde than mine and his eyes that same shade of ice-blue that seemed to run in the royal family. He was beautiful and happy, and I loved him more than I thought possible. I missed Eleanor, of course, but he helped me cope with her absence.

Being the Queen was a duty that I was willing to take on and I excelled at it. I managed to resume trade with nearby kingdoms, saving the lives of our people. The gates stayed open and we often had children playing on the courtyard, friends for our little Kristopher. Along with trade, I was in charge of keeping criminal activity in the kingdom down. We didn't seem to have any criminals in Arendelle and that amazed me. I was happy with everything in my kingdom.

I would often look out the window, staring towards the north mountain. Sometimes I could fool myself into thinking I saw the very top of an ice palace, though I knew it was just me wishing silly things. I knew Elsa was gone, somewhere with Jack. I hoped she was happy. I missed her, but I had no way to ask her to come back, even if I had wanted to. My thoughts and gazes out the window were often interrupted by a fiery ball of energy that was my son, begging me to come play with him while his child's hands tangled in my hair. He was the light of my life.

Since all the drama in the castle had died down, Kristoff and I had never been closer. We had the perfect marriage, he was my true love without a doubt. I smiled whenever we were anywhere near each other, the Newlywed feeling not fading even after nearly six years of marriage. He was nothing short of supportive and loving and perfect. HE was an amazing father and a hard-working ice master. He loved everyone and everything he came in contact with. The way he interacted with Kristopher both warmed and broke my heart. I knew it killed him not to have his little girl to baby. 

Eleanor would be nearly six now. I could picture her hair, hitting her midback in soft blonde curls. I  could see the freckles across her full cheeks, the bright blue of her eyes. Sometimes I even thought I could hear her little giggle if I tried hard enough. I was tormented with dreams of her nearly every night, seeing her grow up before my closed eyelids. It was a sick trick of the mind, killing me slowly. I wanted her back home, safe and sound. There was still a bedroom decorated for her and I often found myself walking through the pink-clad room and just wishing for her to come back to me. I missed my miracle baby.

During one of my window staring sessions, Kristoff had come up next to me.

"I know you're thinking about her," He had said, laying a hand on my thigh. I grabbed it in my own, pressing the cupped palm to my chilly cheek and relishing his warm touch.

"Of course I am, how could I not be?" I spoke softly, tears gathering on my eyelids as I tried to blink them away.

"I'm sure she's okay, wherever she is." He assured me, joining me in staring longingly into the mountains.

"I hope so," I replied, not really believing it. Who would take a baby? What kind of monster stol an innocent child away from their family without a trace? I had struggled for years in that library, trying desperately to connect the dots and find my daughter. Nothing ever seemed to add up, though, and I had eventually been forced to abandon my search. Soon enough, Kristopher joined us on the small window seat.

"Mommy, Daddy, it's starting to snow!" He laughed, pressing his hand against the window. I looked out at the flakes, smiling slightly as I though about how much of a love-hate-relationship I had with snow and winter. "I'm going to be an ice-man like daddy when I grow up." He told me, seriousness written across his small face. I nodded.

"You're going to be as big and strong as daddy?" I asked, teasing the little boy.

"Nope, stronger." He grinned, turning to his father.

"Is that so? Well, we'll see little dude. You have to eat your carrots to get this big and strong!" Kristoff told his son.

"Ew, I hate carrots!" He squealed in protest, and I laughed as I hugged him close to my chest. "Mommy, when will Aunt Elsa come down from the mountains forever?" He asked me and I stared at him in shock.

"What do you mean?" I asked him.

"She comes to see me sometimes while I'm playing. She says she lives on the north mountain but she used to live in the castle. I want her to come back to the castle, mommy." He begged, and I nodded.

"Tell her to come back whenever she likes," Kristoff said, speaking for me as I choked up.