Always You

xliiii. Kristoff

I had a hunch on where Eleanor was. It was just that, a hunch, but with no way to test my theory out it was nothing more than one of the dead ends that Anna and I had both explored over the years. Anna would never have admitted it, but with her Queenhood and the birth of Kristopher, our work on looking for Eleanor had slackened. Anna banked on the fact that Jack was still looking, but I wondered how he could be looking if he never gave us any word on how he was doing. Not to mention that we hadn't seen even a glimpse of Elsa in nearly six years. The two seemed to have just disappeared. When I pictured my life as a married man, this was not it. I never imagined being the king, nor did I imagine my little girl being kidnapped at four months old. Still, I loved Anna and I knew we would make it.

Kristopher himself was an amazing little boy. Curious and strong, he was always an adventure waiting to happen. He was exciting and fun and showed me what it really meant to be a parent. IT had been a sigh of relief for everyone involved when he had been born without ice powers, everyone who knew about Eleanor celebrating quietly. Anna had simply held him for almost a week, refusing to relinquish her grip on her son. It was like I didn't understand what she was doing, but it broke my heart ot do so. She was terrified to lose our son, and even more terrified to never find our daughter. It seemed like Eleanor was always the elephant in the room that we tried not to talk about it. When we did, Anna always wound up crying no matter how strong she acted.

Things in my life before Anna were beyond boring. Nothing ever changed. The trolls grew up and made more trolls, Sven stayed his own goofy self, I brought ice to Arendelle... It was nothing if not routine. I never told Anna that on one of my ice excursions I had decided to go back by the north mountain for old time's sake. I also never told her that Elsa's ice palace had been resurrected. I knew Anna would be angry that I hadn't told her, but I also knew that if Elsa returned to Arendelle things would blow up again. Anna would step down as queen, the two of them would fight all the time, and it wouldn't help us find Eleanor. I kept it to myself, justifying it that way so I didn't feel bad lying to Anna. It wasn't really lying, just omitting. I vowed to tell her if she ever asked.

The day Kristopher had told us that Aunt Elsa visited him and lived in the mountains, I acted as confused as Anna did. I was, I mean, I had no idea that Elsa had visited our son. If she had, why hadn't we seen her? Or anyone, it wasn't like Kristopher was ever left completely alone. Someone would have seen her but no one would have not told us if they did. It made no sense. I didn't want to push him, but I was certain he was telling the truth. We rarely spoke of Elsa, and never around him. It was just an unspoken agreement. I didn't understand. I hoped that she had been visiting him, though. He deserved to know his aunt as much as she deserved to know her nephew. I had always had a strong sense of family even for an orphan, and I didn't think it was fair for them not to know each other. It was an incredible injustice that Anna and I didn't get to know our daughter.

I couldn't help myself from looking for her while on my ice harvests. I knew it was crazy and that I would more than likely never find her, but I couldn't let myself give up hope entirely. I prayed that maybe one day I would stumble upon a blonde girl in the woods and know instantly that it was my daughter. I knew it was crazy and nothing more than a silly daydream, but the hope was always there. It was buried deep down, but it was there. Needless to say, I never did find her. As time ticked on and she grew older wherever she was, I never came across my little girl. She was rapidly leaving the stage where she was my little girl, and my heart broke with each day that passed. I just wanted to know she was okay. I wanted to know why she had been taken in the first place and I wanted to beat the hell out of the guy who had taken her. He had better now have hurt her, I swore if he hurt her that all hell would break lose. No one would ever lay a hand on my Eleanor. She was a Bjorgman, and no one messes with Bjorgmans. 

I stayed strong for Anna. She was a strong girl, but I knew she relied on me. If I gave up on this and let myself fall into depression, she would follow soon after. I couldn't watch her suffer and I wouldn't let that happen to my little boy. I pushed myself to stay hopeful and to work hard, and to be a good dad. I knew it would only be a matter of time. I just had to believe things would be okay and they would. I had grown up with the most hopeful people in the world raising me and I knew I would need to be the same for my son and my wife if I wanted life to contain any ounce of normalcy.

It was late one night when I was working the ice harvest when I felt it. Something in me shifted ever so slightly, and I knew then that Eleanor would be home soon. I could sense it.