ℂ𝕝𝕒𝕤𝕤 ℂ𝕝𝕠𝕨𝕟 {𝕂𝕃𝔸ℕℂ𝔼}

Moving On

Dear Keith,

So... you moved on.

Well, can it be considered moving on if you were never really with me? I mean, you were with me, just not in that sense.

That's a lie. You were always with me. Just maybe not in the way other people would class being with someone. You always had my back no matter what I did or what happened. You were the rock keeping me from drifting in the harsh tide.

Yet you left me.

No, not left.

You moved on.

I saw you just the other day. I see you everywhere these days but you never seem to see me though. That's not the reason why I bring it up. I bring it up because you seemed like you were mad. Maybe your neighbor broke your window again or your parents took your drum kit off you because you got a noise complaint. It wouldn't be the first time, y'know? Whatever it was you really seemed to be down in the dumps.

All I wanted to do was walk over there and hug you. I wanted to make sure you were okay, regardless of the cause. I wanted to comfort you.

Then I remembered you weren't mine.

Not mine to hug or comfort or make sure is okay.

You're not mine.

Fuck, I didn't realize how much that would hurt to say out loud.

I've never had to admit that to myself. I guess I've been in denial through it all. The days when we stopped talking were the hardest of my life, even when I told myself you weren't avoiding me. 

Sorry, I strayed from the topic for a second.

Anyways, I saw you standing there with your arms crossed over your chest and that signature Keith pout you wear whenever you are angry. I was at war with myself. I wanted to go ask you if you were okay but I knew you would never have any of that. Right as I convinced myself to go over and talk to you he showed up. The second your eyes landed on him you smiled.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little jealous.

Actually, no.

'Little' is an understatement.

He wrapped his arms around your waist and you melted into his embrace, as did all your anger and sorrow. That was like a knife in my gut, you have no idea. Just one look at his face and he fixes all your problems. It would've taken me half an hour at least.

You know It's kinda funny.

I was never enough for you.

I don't mean it in a mean way; You were a great friend to me. I mean it more in a literal sense.

I couldn't be enough to help you, to put you in a good mood. He has made you happier in three months then I could ever do in three years and that sucks because god knows I tried my hardest. All I ever did was try but you left.

Funny...

You weren't even mine in the first place yet I felt so betrayed. I still do. Oh well, you're in love and it's true and he probably makes you happier than I ever could do.

Hopelessly hooked on you,

Lance