Love Potions | ✓

e i g h t

it hurts, you know.
the memories of us,
exist only on paper.

recap of chapter six: eilish and carson have a semi-deep talk about stereotypes, and eilish confesses how she admires him breaking the stereotypes.

E I G H T

T I M E

"I don't know what to do today," Everett scans his folder throughly but ends up with nothing.

"Well that's too bad. I have plans today and I need to go," I say, grabbing my bag.

"What? But we have a condition, cousin."

I stop in my tracks, stop the rhythm of my breathing, listening to the soft streak of the world. I'm back to this phase, back to turning away from the things that will inevitably help me. But I should be done with my no's. I figure that I'll someday regret the many oppurtunities wherein I could have said yes.

"Fine, Everett. I'll stay,"

The regret settles on me faster than it should. There isn't any reason for me to stay if we have nothing to do. But a part of me says I'm making the right choice.

Carson patiently waits for us, continuing the game on his phone. Everett apprehensively sits next to me and momentarily snatches the gadget from Carson.

"Guys, as much as this may bring you down, I need to tell you something," Everett begins. "Especially you, Eilish. And you need to hear me out,"

I rest my forehead atop my knuckles, perking my ears and giving full attention.

"It's a mistake to put you guys together, I should've seen it from the start." At first, I think it is a joke, some sort of ploy.

He is correct, right, it's obvious as can be. You can't blend two polar opposites, they don't combine as they should. They strike havoc and chaos, two of the most distressting concepts of today.

And yet, I don't do anything. Don't fidget or smile, or say 'I told you so!'. It is remarkably the turning point in my life, and Everett takes this as a sign for him to continue.

"Point is, I think this is a mistake. Making the two of you as my test subjects could be wrong, but I'm not saying that it isn't right," he continues. "If you bear with me for just a little longer, I swear it'll all be worth it."

Worth it. Isn't that something we're all looking for? The magic word that suddenly envelops us to pour all the hard work we've got. We need to feel that what we do is enough. We need assurance, that no matter hard things may get, it'll all make sense in the end.

Carson looks at me differently, not a trickle of despair, but also no sign of joy. I want to stop time, understand what the heck is going on, but I refuse to give in. The better part of me controls every cell and nerve inside of me. I break eye contact, looking at my cousin.

Worth it, Eilish. You have no reason to complain.

"Okay, Everett. I understand, and again, apologize if I'm being too ignorant," the words sting, not for them, but for me. I'm straightforward, but I mean every word I say.

"I'll be more patient, and I want to help you out, Ev. You didn't make a mistake, I promise,"

The words are meant for my cousin, but my heart says I'm convincing myself.

"You need to be closer."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean. . .you've got to know each other. The small conversations, they mean something, but it's not enough." It'd be selfish if I say I feel like a child being scolded, but that is exactly how I feel right now. Everett shoots that 'i need you to help me' look, his hair ruffled all around, the dark circles collecting underneath his eyes. He has his own life, another world beyond this experiment, and this is my only way to help him.

"What do you want me to do?" I whisper, only so Carson wouldn't hear. Probably because I don't want to let him know that some part of me cares.

Everett thinks for a moment, rubbing his palms through his temples. He takes off the white lab coat, neatly placing it on a table.

"Maybe you could, I dunno, just get away from school and find some common ground?" he shrugs in disdain.

"Ev. . .not to be annoying, but I really have a lot of homework, and I'm not kidding this time."

"Please, Eilish." he pleads. "If it weren't Carson we were talking about. . .if I told you we were going out for free ice cream, or you'd get a new guitar, you would have time wouldn't you? If you want something, there will always be a way, and I need enthusiasm for the project to work,"

I know what he's implying, and it hurts beacause he can so candidly paint a portrait of my selfishness. Because it's true.

"Which means you do have time. You go to school early everyday -- you can finish your homeowork before class starts,"

I grunt and stomp my feet to the door, grabbing my things. Time is a joker. It can trick you, hypnotize you into forgetting what you need. But pick your cards carefully, and you might find something new.

I have to offer Carson my time, and not just because I'm obliged to do it for the experiment, but because I need to return the favor. Return Carson's kindness, return Everett's effort.

"Carson, follow me."