Behind His Scene (XXXTentacion)

11. The Ugly Truth

I was sitting on the out door lounge with X's head in my lap.
Slowly playing with his dreads.
"I almost googled you." I admitted quietly looking at his closed eyes.
"Why didn't you." He said calmly.
"Because I decided, to trust you and trust that you would tell me only what I needed to know." I sighed softly.
X's eyes opened and he looked up at me, his eyes locking my place on the earth, just as they had the first time I saw him.
"Thank you." He took my hand.
"For not googling you or for trusting you?" I licked my lips and using my free hand stroked his head softly.
"For not treating me like everyone else." He mumbled.
"It's hard when people can type your name into something and make up an opinion about you based on the words of others. Like I'm a product that gets reviewed." He sighed.
"I've never thought of things in that way. I just thought.. that you should have the chance to tell me your dirty secrets before anyone else." I shrugged.
"I appreciate you." He said
"I appreciate you too." I smiled softly.
He smirked and shook his head softly.
"What?" I asked
"I just don't know where you came from. Your not like anyone else I've ever met." He let go of my hand reached up to run a finger over my lips.
"I'm actually a total bitch" I joked to his amusement .
"I guess your entitled to know things about me. I know you will judge me correctly."
I had to interrupt him, "I won't judge you, I want to understand you."
"Do you want me to spill it all?" He offered.
"No." I stated to his confusion.
"Are you sure?" He asked
"Yeah. Ignorance is bliss. If I was worried I would want to know. But I'm not. I want to learn and discover who you are X. I don't think you could scare me away but everyone makes split second decisions, that end bloody or end as a pile of shit." I ran my finger over the bridge of his nose.
"Promise me you will ask if someone tells you something or if you pick up on something?" He kissed my finger softly.
"I promise." I smiled.
We stayed looking at each other for a while.
"Would you like to stay the night?" I asked him. His eyes sparkled and he looked down smirking.
"Yeah that would be awesome, are you going to put me on the couch?" He grinned.
"No, I have a perfectly comfortable queen bed, for you to share with me."
X nodded, "I sleep naked. That going to be a problem?" I had no idea if he was serious or just threatening. So I decided to threaten back.
"Only if I get to undress you before bed."
"You have me so fucked up." He said in a strained tone.
I felt comfortable with him. So I kissed him softly.
He didn't hesitate to pull me into his lap again. His hand ran down my hip and onto my ass.
He broke the kiss, grasping at the flesh in his hand.
"Are you wearing anything under this thing?" He looked over the cotton jumpsuit.
I shhh'ed him softly and kept kissing him, swallowing his groan for him.
"You can't have me like this shawty. I'm getting ready to punch walls every time you get close." He whispered softly.
I smiled softly, "You're frustrations weren't resolved last night?" I kissed him again softly.
"They weren't you." He breathed against my lips.
"I like the way you say that." I grinned.
He looked at me amused but I saw a thought flip in his mind. He leaned back putting some distance between us.
"I'll be honest I haven't said it in a long time. Not in that context but I've only said that type shit to another girl. That's why you got me fucked up." He sighed.
I frowned softly. I never really felt the need to think about who else was in this situation with X or if I was the only one, who was before me.
"Who did you say it too before?" I couldn't help but ask.
X raised his eyebrows quickly but then met my gaze.
"I had my heart ripped out, not long ago. I made a blood pact with this girl, I thought we never be apart. I don't know, we don't have to talk about this." He shook his head softly.
"I want to know.." I encouraged him gently.
"What happened to ignorance is bliss?"
"This is important I can see it on your eyes." I said.
X nodded softly, "G. She was my first real love. I helped her with everything. Drug addiction, depression, self harm; even suicide. Things got toxic but I still wanted her and she just seemed to wanna hurt me. She left me one day and the next week, she ends up in hospital all beaten and bloody. Told the hospital and police that I had kept her hostage in my house and beaten her a whole bunch of times. She even told people she was pregnant with my kid." He paused.
I opened my mouth to speak but nothing came out. I was trying to process what he was saying.
"I got arrested, let out on bail and I'm still waiting a trail. The crazy thing is her hospital papers got leaked and she wasn't pregnant, she told the hospital initially that two of my female fans beat her for cheating on me. But because I have a record, they all think I'm guilty." He shook his head again.
"I never thought someone could betray me like that. It had me fucked up, it still does." He concluded.
I sat for a moment. X looked at me and I couldn't meet his eyes.
"You think I did it, don't you?" He scoffed.
I frowned immediately, "no. I couldn't imagine you ever hitting or harming someone you loved. I just can't believe someone would do something like that to you." I felt comfortable and confident in X's character. I would swear on a bible that he wouldn't hurt someone. I could see his soul, and it wasn't a soul that would ever hurt another that it loved.
"It's okay if you don't believe me. Everyone else doesn't." He mumbled.
"I know you and I see you." I dragged my hand slowly over his face. "You wouldn't compromise love like that. You thrive on the love you conjure in people and the happiness you bring them. I'm sure the toxic nature of the relationship was violent enough, but I see myself in you. And if I'm right about that, it means, like me; other people loving us is what makes us feel valid, we exist to be needed." I whispered softly.
X looked at me intensely, wrapped his arms around my body and crashed his lips onto mine. I obliged and let our lips lap over one another's, he got up, carrying me effortlessly towards my bedroom. I had no idea if he wanted to blow off steam or if what I'd just said struck a deep cord and he was doing this out of passion. But for some reason the raw emotion he was emitting was enough. I was ready.
{steamy content warning}
He pushed my bedroom door open, and somehow knew where my bed was, he laid me down gently and then climbed over me, kicking off his shoes. I kept kissing him, running my hands over his arms and shoulders.
I ran my fingers up his neck and into his dreads.
X's hands came up to pull down the shoulder straps of my body suit, exposing my chest.
He kissed down my neck, the feeling of his lips on my chest aroused goosebumps all over my body. I was trying to think of reasons to slow down but I couldn't think at all. He took my nipple into his mouth, growling softly as he took hold of my hips.
I muted the moan in my throat and arched my back pushing my chest upwards towards him. Nothing at this point seemed to be enough. I wanted him closer.
He kept pulling at my body suit, peeling it down my body as he flicked my nipples with his tongue and massaged at my breasts. He had to break free to finish peeling the body suit all the way off my body. And once I was naked on the bed he looked at me.
He eyes contained wild fire within in them, I could see his dick standing under his pants.
I got up, kneeling in front of him looking up.
He stood, still as ever and smirking down at me. I could see him challenging me with his eyes.
I took his hand and pulled him a bit closer, than started to kiss his body.
He made no noise, I probably wouldn't have heard any noise he made over the sound of my heart beating in my ears.
I kept kissing his torso softly as my hands slid his pants down over his hips, letting his erection free.
I heard the sound of his shorts and boxers hit the floor so I took hold of him firmly and kept teasing him with kisses, he took a deep breath finally when I pulled my hair to one side and slowly dragged my tongue up the underside of his shaft.
I smirked softly at his shiver and proceeded to take him into my mouth, then slowly all the way to the back of my throat. I felt his hips buck a little. He was holding back.
I came back to swirl my tongue around his tip, looking up at him. He was watching me intensely.
"Keep looking at me." He said softly, holding my hair for me.
So I took the hint, keeping my eyes on his I sucked, slow and hard, keeping my hands on his hips. His eyes would glance to my ass every few moments but I worked up a pace and I could feel his hips pushing forward.
When I stopped for a breather, he moved me quickly to lay on my stomach, his hands hooked under my hips, and he lifted me to have my ass up in the air, in his full view.
"Godddamn" he whispered softly, stroking my hips and ass softly.
I was ready for him to push in but he crouched down and swept his tongue over my pussy.
The feeling sent an electric shock through my pelvis and I gasped softly.
"Mm" He hummed softly and did it again. I wanted to see him, but the air meeting the wetness in between my legs only added to the pleasure. He stayed there for a moment licking and sucking at my pussy, I could feel my whole stomach tighten, ready for an orgasm but he stopped, standing in between my legs again. I waited, anticipating the feeling of fullness, but he pushed me so my hips were down and I was flat on my stomach.
The atmosphere of the room changed in an instant, x climbed over me slowly, pressing down into my back, as he guided his tip towards my entrance. The feeling made me want more instantly, but I propped myself up on my elbows turning my head to look back at him, he pulled my hair to one side, laid his lips to my temple and eased inside of me slowly.
I moaned softly at the feeling of him, filling me.
He groaned softly and thrusted painfully slow in and out of me.
I closed my eyes enjoying the moment of ecstasy.
His breathing grew faster and so did his pace.
I couldn't help the moans coming from my throat, and as he kept kissing and groaning against me, I could feel the climax.
"Harder." I moaned softly. An invitation he must've been waiting for because he began pumping hard and fast. I felt the familiar feeling of my core tighten, which I knew he had felt too due to his own moan of pleasure.
"Say you want it." He growled.
"I want it, I want you." I gasped.
I couldn't hold off, the orgasm hit and as my legs started shaking he pumped into me one more time. Panting as he pushed in once more, the feeling of his cock throbbing inside me made my orgasm roll on for a second longer before he let himself collapse beside me, our legs intertwined.
He wrapped his arm around my waste and pulled me to his warm chest.
X and I laid there for a moment, staring at the ceiling, catching our breath.
I smiled softly and rolled over to tuck my face into his chest. X wrapped his arms around me, I was smiling into his chest, like a schoolgirl.
He caught me with a glance, "Why are you smiling like that?" He said, I could hear his own smile in the way he spoke.
"Cause I'm not one bit dissatisfied or disappointed." I said quietly.
"Were you expecting to be?" He questioned me again.
"No. But it was still even better than I expected." I said, looking up at him.
He kissed my forehead softly.
"So was that blowing off steam?"
X licked his lips, "no. That was me, showing my appreciation for you."
I grinned, "Well, feel free to show your appreciation anytime."
"What you said out on the balcony has always been my ugly truth, but you said it like it was a beautiful thing. It made me want you. To be as close you as I could possibly be." He explained.
"I never want to leave this moment." I whispered softly.
"Then let's stay here. Forever."